April 30, 2013

Celtic 0 - NNFI 1

This week's  ♫ Tuesday Tune ♫ choice was a no brainer!  In gratitude and respect of helping raise a huge heap of cash (still counting - final sum-to-come!) for a Children For Lourdes charity (more info thisaway.) I give you No Need For Idols with their classic hit Wasted City.

Those who can be arsed to sift down my blogs' sidebars to get the gist of just how stable and mature I am, will have noticed other songs by the same band from time to (all the) time. Please give the song at least a bit of a listen. It's really a pretty decent little rock ballad.

  The NNFI  guys study, work, write and rehearse hard then make magical, musical gestures by way of charity and awareness gigs. They perform each Christmas in Scotland's only woman's prison too. Truth be known they have big hearts and I'm proud of them but being the Mumma of the Drumma kinda sways me, you know..?  Anyhow, here's the guy's from Saturday in the stadium before it all kicked off!

No Need For Idols sporting their new shorter hair cuts!  If you're a Facebooker,  it'd be nice if you could give the guys' Bandpage a 'Like' without the need to follow, of course.  It would pass as a bitsy little round of appreciative by-proxy applause for all their hard work.... Emoji ....thanxz.... Emoji..!


April 28, 2013

The Feast Of The Beast

Carnivorous?  Herbivore Liquid digestion?
A puzzle-some thought left for many to question
In front of their noses a banquet of food
For a furry-feast caper all bolshy and rude

They celebrate, love and hate, even mate, too
Those friends of the forest and not of the zoo
All huddled together and fighting for space
With cream cakes and attitude smeared on their face

Over and over the squeaks and the squalls
Get so agitated from nothing at all
A mountain of bodies all twisted and coiled
Such pathetic behaviour, when heavily roiled 
Wilderness calling them, what do they care?
When the Queen of the Woods throws such swanky affairs
It's no real fulfillment coterie provides 
When instinct gate crashes those cravings inside

Calm predate, lie in wait, nature kicks in
Clawing out eyeballs and tearing at skin 
Bloody raw, bones to gnaw, catch and then kill
Prey! No party animal matches that thrill 

April 25, 2013

† Lourdes Us The Way, Lads †

I have to wish my younger son's band, No Need For Idols, a huge "GOOD LUCK GUYS ".  They'll be performing at Celtic Football Club's stadium supporting their Children For Lourdes appeal. They've been jammin' their iffy little socks off in preparation of 26 songs - mainly covers! Phew!

Celtic Park venue is the biggest in Scotland, so it'll be a decent sized crowd they'll attract. A few other acts will be performing, too, but all in all, it'll still be their biggest audience to date. A main stage will be erected in the grounds. I'm so chuffed. Show takes off at 8pm this Saturday.


 No Need For Idols

And coming up......it's their weekend stay at this Highland But 'n' Ben that carries a spooky tale to it but I'll leave that post for next time! Gee, I dunno.....you'd think their fans would have the courtesy of being visible, eh?


April 21, 2013

Lesson In Layers

How to forget is always lonesome
  winter sun's will always find
Paths of deep deliberation
  makes the eyes and heart snowblind

Isolation wraps it's body
  round her naked, yearning soul
Leaves a hint of last year's loving
  abandonment and no control

From the view she seeks some comfort
  chapters let her reasons bleed
Not a crisp footprint towards those 
  rhapsodies in aniseed

Moonbeam kissed, the flakes do sparkle
  morning comes with blackbird song
One cup of tea lies on the table
  cold and sweet and far too strong 

**********************************  If you like quick, sharp and immature fun, take a visit to my other blog.......Little Sticky Bits

April 20, 2013

Royalty Boiled

Crossing the park that sits next to my house this afternoon, I spied some eye candy letting his Spaniel have a bit of a runaround As I reached within 'phwoar' distance of him, the little mop-head ran over to say hello and while doing so I thought I'd attempt to impress by letting loose some drivel of my own.
      " What a beauty of a King Edward your dog is,"   I said, as I fussed over it.        
       He gave a wry grin and replied,  " A King Edward is a potato, but thanks anyway."

 I may not be the first to have had one's Kings mixed up during reference to Spaniel breeds, but for that brief moment before correcting myself I felt a right Charlie!


April 19, 2013

On Top Form!

My job today was to help compile CV's. I gathered a small group of peeps to give them a rough idea of the requirements.  While looking for a template that may suit everyone, I came across this example on the computer I chose at random. Alignment and format may not be perfect but I'd have no problem calling this guy in for an interview:

Joe Somebody's Uncle
26 Random Road

Tel: 0845 678 910 1112
Mob: 07111 111 111
Email: joesumbugger@cockmail.cum

Personal Profile

I am a charismatic and right evil individual who has experience in construction, hospitality, apnea, insomnia, babysitting and retail.  I have diabolical customer service skills and enjoy sitting around twiddling my thumbs, unless a hot blonde with sweat-bead boobs needs seeing to.  I am looking to find employment which will allow me to do as little as possible and give me the opportunity to find a warm dry place to fall asleep.

Employment History

Employment History:

Smith Construction, Stirling   ↔    Jan 2008 - Feb 2008


Duties included:

• Assisting tradesmen
• Wolf Whistling
• Keeping site tidy

• Staring at brushes
• Gnawing on bricks

Fawlty Towers, Torquay,  England   ↔  July 2006 - July 2007

Kitchen Porter

Duties included:

       •  Washing dishes
 •  Keeping the kitchen clean and tidy
 •  Preparing food laced with rat poison
 •  Spitting in drunks' drinks
 •  Eating giant pepperoni pizzas for lunch.
Woolworths, Fallin, Stirling   ↔   Aug 2004 - Feb 2006                   

Sales Assistant

Duties included:

•  Serving customers at till half asleep
•  Putting stock on shelves and keeping store tidy. 
    Restraining myself from shouting " shut the f**k up! " at tantrum spoiled kids 
•  Team leader responsible for polishing the pick n mix

Education and Training

Forth Valley College, St. Nunnery Street, Stirling   ↔   Sep 2003 - May 2004      2004    

Exams taken:                    

HND – Horse Whispering

Course was based around the film of the same name starring Robert Redford and Kristen Scott Thomas. Some horses were hard of hearing and back-kicked me but I take comfort in knowing that some day Tesco's will prepare him for a barbeque.

Stirling High School,  Fallin,  ↔   Jan 1999 – Jan 2003 



•  Igloo Construction       2
•  Daisy Cultivation          1
•  Teacher Ogling            1
•  Toilet Flooding             2


Standard Grades:

•  Maths                         6
•  English                       3
•  Scab picking            3
•  French                       3
•  Geography                2
•  Cheese Making        1
•  Taxidermy                  1
•  Ancient Greek           3
•  Catapult Practice      2

Hobbies and Interests

In  my spare time I enjoy playing football, socialising with my friends, bullfighting, crocheting jock-straps, seal spotting, McDonalds, paying fines and promoting the vegan lifestyle within the Forth Valley area.  Every Thursday I challenge my friends to a spot of vinegar snorting at the pub quiz night after our chips.  I like to listen to music until my ears bleed. Oh - and I once read a book .


Basil Fawlty
69 Shock Street
SL8 OWX                                                             

Kim Cashforgold
Toffee Broker
Thistle Ind Estate
Stingy Road


April 15, 2013

Love Resembled

A beautiful morning led them up the hill 
     grasping on to each other with hope and free will

Above and below the air still swept away 
     those lurid confessions in kisses astray

Spring in the hillside afresh with warm shower
     sitting there mustering courage for hours 

They sat at the pinnacle, stared at the clouds
     as human-race road signs point to disallow 

A union of passion, alikeness of kin 
     soaring with empathy outside and in 

No hidden agenda, no different to those 
     who'll take an exception when lovers' disclose

Veins tainted golden, beats missing that thud 
   it's cruel when a love-line flows with the same blood 

Yet her lips taste so sweet with the freshest of pout 
     how can stomachs and hearts change to urns of doubt?  

Hiding no option, doing no wrong 
     so cruel when a streak tugs the heartstrings along

Let them see it for better, feel it for worse 
     no splitting asunder or shame for this curse  

Such sooth silky pollen, when a rose from its dozen
       bear thorns deep and downwards and carves the word 'cousin'. 


April 11, 2013

Whose Fallen Angels?

I'm a tough cookie usually, but a sight today near brought me to tears.  On a long walk with The Cheaper Half today, our tracks had us passing through the older part of our cemetery.  Just as we turned to take the shortcut by the railway bridge, a small section of the ground had been taped off.  A few headstones near the back gate entrance had been knocked over, one split in twoOrnament memorials, flowers in their holders, some grave edgings scattered about, too.  I was shocked and distressed. What made it all the more nefarious was the sight of a child's cuddly toy dangling up a tree and the wind chime from it snapped on the ground.

Unfortunately, the gate on this side of the grounds is a short cut and despite live-in caretakers, no one can be there 24/7 to keep check on the mostly respectable public.  It was sad to see the usually neat and pristine cemetery suffer so Many times I enjoyed walking on my own through the beautiful summer lanes, reading the mini stories of tragedy, pride and love. 

I know what happened today was rare. An awful scene that in the silence, spoke for itself, and we knew there was the likelihood of finding nearby empty bottles and cans.  In a perverse kind of way, I was saddened that we didn't come across any, so maybe this attack was just a pit stop on route to some other intended target? Who knows.  But to carry out this destruction, just for fun, without your brains being fully frazzled, is way beyond me, and an insult to the serene in the world beyond them.

April 07, 2013

Huffy Fluffy Hotel Stuffy

With both taps running, there I sat
upon the bath's cold edge
And bubbled up a violet froth
with candles on the ledge 

Slid under purple water,
muscles calling out with glee
Think I'll stay here till I'm purple, too
(or feel the need to pee!)

Dreamy-warmth, the bath was over
by a sharp knock at the door
Reminding me I had to be
some boring place by four

So hauled my pruned, red baggage
out from marbled luxuree
Reached over to the golden ring
and pulled the towel to me

A fluffy, puffy, cloud-like thing,
too soft for drying bits
Like the scoopy parts one squats for
or under both my ti pits

Call me fussy or ungrateful
but I need my towels rough
Like a sheet of coarse sandpaper
scratching up a peachy buff ! 

Lest it never feels entirely clean
and dry upon oneself
If my choice of terry towelling
isn't all dried out itself........