December 21, 2010

Banged Up To Rights....!

Tonight and on Thursday night, my youngest son's band NO NEED FOR IDOLS will be gigging in a woman's jail.  Cornton Vale in Stirling is one of the most 'famous' jails for birds in Scotland.  It has been under public scrutiny many a time, as well as the subject of several television programmes. For what it's worth, the officers and staff work exceptionally hard to rehabilitate. Drug abuse and it's actions is the main cause for conviction there. Of course there are lots of re-offenders.

One of the band's father's is a warder in various correction centers and arranged the gig.  The guys are quite excited about it, and it has boosted interest in their band already. Even bad girls are allowed to appreciate great music. Tonight it's the young offenders that they play for - Thursday it's the 'women'. That should make for an interesting night. Oh, there are so many apt songs that they could have covered but I'll leave that for my Nippy Side.  This is a gesture of goodwill.  Peace on earth and mercy mild. Here's hoping that they keep that in mind while the boy's play (as usual) their finishing song called Walk Away which sadly, is not so easy for some.  Merry Christmas.

Find more artists like No Need for Idols at Myspace Music

December 16, 2010

Midnight Mass, Beautiful Glass

A believer I was never
An acquaintance I was not
Yet, I sat upon a bench beam
In the same, familiar spot.

I listened to the pastor
From the pulpit looking down
Blessing all attending
From this lax and wayward town.

Soon, little eyes were drooping
Older ones were, too.
The choir it lulled its festive tones
In hearts, the warmth it grew.

Midnight Mass was comfort
Adjoining of the creeds
As neighbours, friends and enemies
Render worthy deeds.

Oddly, every single year
As the aisles started to fill
I'd find myself next to you
The Mother of good will

Stained glass aglow with colour
A mother with her son
Aura's just a wisp of light
Christmas has begun.

A prism's beam it rested
Upon my very sleeve
Spectra seeping through the dank to
Temporarily reprieve.

My Christmas day has started
Sleep it will evade
Colours spoke a million words
Exactly as you said.

December 15, 2010

See?! - Told You He Was Real.....!!

This is my utmost, bestest Christmas photograph.  It shows GingerNut (who's not long  turned 3 in the pic) about to greet Santa.  The big fella has just called out Adam's name to receive his pressie from the nursery.  The wonderment just oozes from that tot expression and the innocence making his little fingers twist awkwardly at his sides.  Could belief be any more apparent?

We still have the present - a jigsaw road track with wind-up car, ambulance and police vehicle - and it won't be GingerNut's again until  he father's his own little one - in perfect working order. Here's hoping he hasn't any lasting memories of that duck shirt and corduroy trousers he was togged in to meet 'ole Santa....!

December 06, 2010

When - The But and Ben

In winter there's a place we go
Forever's Promise made
If the cottage step lay fresh with snow
We keep to what we said.

Snow, in all it's glory
Respecter not of depth
Starts it's own short story
Oh, what secret  it's walls  kept

The But 'n' Ben, in our special glen.
Lets crystal white pervade
Creeps across the mist and fog
To encumber in the glade

Our home, our hearts, where love departs
From spouses we withhold
They taste like winter anyway
Culling in the cold

Our place, our tryst, conjugal heist
A winter hide-away
Heart that bleeds like a divorcee's
Let time wile guilt away

So, now and then, and once again
Suffuse in sparkling whites
The cords of sin, that holds within
Thaws out the wicked nights

I pray for you, I pray for me, I pray for winter's nights
And stellar plates, bullet rose and simple stalagmites.......

November 28, 2010

Mammy's Ba Ba Has Gone

I hope you don't mind me adding this via Magpie also.  I've not been around for a few days. My best fwiend died in my arms on Tueday night, you see. At 11.40 precisely. I still have a best friend, but my cat, Simon was my best fwiend.

Simon had been with us for almost 10 years.  Somebody, after 7/8 years (the vet's calculation at his age back then) had dumped him in a box near a local river's bridge. It's quite baffling really, as he'd obviously been around kids before and was in good health. It makes you both want to throttle the owners for doing so, but as cruel as it was, it brought Simon to us. And I'm so so grateful to have shared all these years with him.

He wasn't like your avarage cat. Simon 'spoke'  to you.  He meowed like buggery to get your attention, especially a 'good morning' or a 'your home now' acknowledgment. We could ask him anything, and he'd pause before answering. He could even sing Happy Birthday...... It was funny and entertaining to visitors. And he was anybody's friend. Every Christmas he delivered the neighbours' card with me. Followed me. Annoying kid or not. But he never got quite as close to our younger rescue cat, Boaby as we'd hoped.  He tolerated and avoided him most of the time. They would, however, join forces to get rid of any invading cats in their territory but the affection never grew. He learned the little 'un a lot, though.

My daughter, Kerri, annoyed the living daylights out of Simon on her visits. Made him sniff lemon skin, a ping to the nose, tickling his ear hair as he slept, and even putting headphones on him! Yet he STILL chose to go lie on her lap over and over again! I couldn't begin to list all the fun times. There's so many, but you will see for yourselves from the pics (and that's just a fraction to how many snaps I've taken ).

My two fondest memories with Simon was his first ever snowfall. He loved the snow. Bounded about in it like a spring lamb, on all fours. He dived for snowballs that Adam threw in the air. Really quite bizarre. But that was my Simon. Slept soundly next to me while I caterwauled on my guitar, too.  Bless his little kitty sox.

He did have a favourite, though. He loved GingerNut to pieces. Made the biggest fuss whenever Adam got home. Licked his ear during cuddles even. Near the end, his condition made him blind, yet he still knew when the boys were home from college and uni. Keeping his day as normal as possible. And even more admirable was the fact that despite being totally blind, he remained as clean as he could. Still wanted to do his duties outside on the soil and cover it up. It was quite a heart-breaking end to such a loyal and loved cat. He tried his best to readjust. Was walking into walls and furniture and things. Gee, we used to laugh at him doing that on catnip...! Oh, how compassion turns the deed.

Not just I, but we as a family, loved him more than any other pet we've had. While laying him to rest in his grave at the top of our garden, it was the men who cried the hardest. Them that made the headstone for the grave. Them that chose the shrub to flourish above him. Mammy's boay. He loved, shopping, Tuesdays, raw turkey, hiding and Adam. I know, but it makes sense to him........

November 17, 2010

Stood Still

You stood for lorn against the wall
in the age of water and oils.
Saw time expand, mellow and grand
as you 'tocked your outer toils.

Speechless, though a talking point
to everyone who entered.
Mahogany with golden trim
gracefully you tenured.

A solid base that held you still
proudly and erect.
Yet ticked away your own demise
oblique, willful neglect.

For all the eyes you catered for
and all the ears that listened.
Anointed with a soothing base
denied your right to glisten.

For who cares for a time piece
that calls past Centuries? 
Not quite fitting in a plan
with adequate degree

You stood there proudly serving
till the young hereditary
Chose digital and lazer beams
domestical contrary.

Alas you wait with artifact
collections in the attic.
To be destroyed, nil and void,

Farewell my timeless beauty,
finite in its clutch.
Oh, the stories you could tell
without hands or Newtons touch

November 15, 2010


Here is Casino (my older son's band) with their new single, Starlight. It still has to be mixed and mastered yet, but this one's a catchy little number. The boys are working hard to get their next recording complete and polished so there will be another single (Hey Fella) up with this one for their fans in time for Xmas.

This recording has been made by me via a shit Fujifilm camera (and my very 'steady' hold in front of the monitor screen) and a random bunch of gig, home and fun pics with the band members. I've added the lyrics as the recording is a little muffled at bits. Enjoy.......

Stalight Unmixed

Helen | Myspace Video

I saw her at the Starlight
That place where the people go.
Don't remember much of that night
I was way up high, she was down low.
I took her up to my hide
I asked "are you okay?" and she said 'no'.
I could see that she was tongue-tied,
Tighter than the string on Cupid's bo-ow-ow-ow-ow.

I hit her with my best lines
Tried to crack the wall, but I couldn't get through.
She let out a deep sigh
I said "I'll leave right now, it's up to you".
She pushed me to a quiet place
Away from the beaten track.
And every change on her face
With all these coughs and sighs, should I turn ba-a-a-a-ack.

# Is she a friend to me..?
Is the enemy, yeah, yeah
Is she the friend to me....?
Is she the enemy, yeah, yeah
Is she a friend to me...?
Is she the enemy, yeah, yeah

I saw her in the daylight
The though it crossed my mind to catch her eye
I could see I wasn't her type.
She looked me up and down and walked on by.
As for all the things that she said
She wasn't quite as plain as you can see
What was going on in her head
Was she the friend or the enemy

#Is she a friend to me
Is she the enemy, yeah, yeah
Is she a friend to me
Is the enemy, yeah, yeah.
Is she a friend to me
Is she the enemy, yeah, yeah..........blah, blah, blah.....

November 11, 2010

One And The Same

              Facsimile made       
          Leave the physical untouched
              As mind's Manifold

November 06, 2010

That Damned Rooster......

This week's prompt took me straight back to a day out with the kids when they were small. This rooster-like bird kept chasing me, blessed thing. All I can assume is it was jealous of my hair or something. Anyhow, here's the Magpie. Remember to look for the Magpie link on my sidebar if you fancy joining in......

We once went to a farm yard park
To pass away the day
Let the children feed our furry friends
With pellets, fruit and hay

I enjoyed the country smell and noise
The little lambs and ducks
Till a feathered git, drew eyes like slits
Didn't give a flying f-hoot.

I remember that mad rooster
Hackled feathers all aglow
Took an instant hatred to me
Reason..? Well, I'll never know.

Ran like crazy straight towards me
As I sat upon a bench
Squawking like a maniac
In cock-a-doodle French.

He took offense at my new shoes
Stabbed with quick sharp pecks
And popped his head right up my skirt
Could have wrung it's scrawny neck...!

I tried in vain to shoo him
But his sights were set on me
Everywhere the lady ran
Around the grass and trees......

I swore and shouted at the pest
To leave me well alone
There were better things to peck at
I was merely skin and bone

I threw it corn, I threw the shoe
Refrained him not a jot
He was Hell bent on pursuing me
I had had my blummin' lot!

So I quickly gathered up the kids
(Who were laughing at my fear)
And shouted out quite fretfully
'Get me away from here...!'

I ran into the gift shop
The rooster kept it's distance
It won the battle, I was gone
Away from it's persistence

And ever since that awful day
The meals I've liked the most
Are the ones with lots of gravy
For a massive chicken roast.....

October 31, 2010

Won't You Come Out Tonight....?

I just had to add this (short) video. You'll smile all the way through! Happy Halloween.......

October 27, 2010


Little mite - tender to the touch.
We laid you down to rest
The sky grey and still, as was your arrival
Silence will never be golden

The days I had planned for us
Mine for the grace of love
Then the light extinguished soon after you appeared
Can you ever show me clemency?

Now I stand at your marred stone
Linger in earth's shadow.
And for the next one hundred years shall I stand
Waiting in the Silent Yard for pardon.

October 25, 2010

Forever Young

The young at heart
Shall never die old
Thousands of stories
There to be told
Living a lifetime but
Dying to see
If the heart and the hand
Will lead them to thee.

 Magpie Tales link on my sidebar....................


iPodding Well Love Him.......

PrettyBoy has settled into university well. Knuckling down and gaining many female admirers. Commitment to his band and studies stops him from wanting a new girlfriend at the mo' and for a mum that's both comforting and worrying, but I guess the one-night-stand thing hasn't amounted to split hearts or condoms after 4 years so I'm trusting his bouts at the uni bar (where he can afford 3 times as much booze to your average bar) will end in the same fashion if the hormones are raging.

For now, I'm a lucky mum.  He still commutes back for his weekend job where he porters at our local hospital, as so far Glasgow jobs on offer don't pay as well. To be honest, I think he'll miss being a porter. One, for driving the little carts about the place and challenging his mates to a 'race' around the stock rooms and for listening to the gibberish  nonsense the patients come out with after theatre, as he wheels them back to the wards. Because he wears scrubs and ID, some patients reckon he's a doctor. My favourite story was when an old dear around 80 was returning to her ward. She looked at PrettyBoy and said.

"Is it over then.....?"
"That's you" he replied.
"Thank God for that......I'm getting too old for babies!"

He's not entirely sure if she was joking or it was the anaesthetic effect. Either way, he'll miss it. You get really attached to some things, don't you? But he knows he'll be moving out permanently soon. Came back with an iPod for me recently and filled it with all the favourite songs of mine he could remember. I always used to borrow his you see, on my trips to town or London. PrettyBoy is weaning me off gently, until his ultimate move. Softening the blow if you like. And he didn't need a Masters degree to figure that one out. Rossi, I know you're not gonna be that far away, but you're on the scary road to independence and that takes bigger courage than the amount I'm letting on I'll miss you. Go for it, son!

October 16, 2010


She woke up in a dark room
Familiar all the same
It's chink of light, sent a vital invite
As fear was laying it's claim

The outlet had her puzzled
It was far up off the ground
With dimension, shape and depth
To leave a Cartesian profound

How on earth she got here
She's unable to recall
Was she pushed? Did she volunteer?
An accidental fall?

But the outside world above her
Still left it's usual mark
 Motors ticked, and music played
 A dog's excited bark

No-one answered to the cries
She mustered as she fret
Won't some-one ever hear her
In this musty oubliette?

After hours and hours of waiting
The outlet door banged open
And a little man with torch and food
Assessed how she was coping

She was so, so pleased to see him
Her eyes they brightly shone
He smiled and laid the tray down
Pushed some numbers on a phone

Before getting a chance to eat
In this cylindrical fell
He says 'Tell your mum that you're okay
You're being treated well'

Magpie Tales link on sidebar.....

October 09, 2010

October Paths & Fallen Leaves

Your path is the one I walk through the  most
Once I take careful steps as I climb from the boat
There I would falter, there I would shine
As the sun had your shadow stand behind mine.

I'd turn and I'd face you, a breath-taking sight
My funny Helios, my sunny delight
The fire would be roaring, the shack would be warm
Soon in the wood house we'd cook up a storm

You'd play me the song that was written for me
I'd laugh at the words, let your reckoning be
Then I'd help sweep the leaves that had clogged up the path
Soon we'd lazy away in our pine vapour bath

Morning, she came with vigor so hard
Mother was dealing her powerful card.
Leaves would be gone and replaced all with white
Then you'd have to move on by Her seasonal rite

Until next September, my sweet woodland friend
When the greens turn to amber and two hearts transcend
In that rickety boat I'll appear through the mist
In the autumnal weeks will you only subsist
                             Fallen Leaves.........!

Autumn came and Autumn went
Crispy leaves all Heaven sent
Then it rained and soaked the path
Slid and fell right on my ass!
Now leaves were wet upon the ground
All curled and shades of gold and brown
Though careful where I put my shoe
It wasn't leaves but doggy poo!
Autumn came and Autumn went
Crispy leaves all Heaven sent.

October 03, 2010

Magpies and Dances and Rich Cyber Chances

                 Poor Drawn Little Moth
           Just That Glow And That Flicker
                                 Will You Stick Or Singe?


Here's my slightly late Willow Manor dance info. I had it on draft, so have combined it with this week's MT.......

 I recently attended my first ever cyber ball. Willow - Magpie Tales creator - throws a party every year, so despite being tee-total (well, near enough) I thought I would tag along. So my shopping and date went something like this:

The dress I chose in green. It's not a colour I'm overly fond of but it does compliment my strawberry-blonde hair rather well.
I'm not big on bling usually but I'd be having a tug of war over these two - the simple and the rich:

......earrings and bracelets would be similar, also.........
 Shoes -
As I can't wear them in reality, I've gone for a younger style, somewhat strappy and glitzy. Thankfully my long, beautiful gown helped cover any heel wobbles.


I like my bags to be somewhat different - for easy recognition - as I'm always forgetting where I put them. This little number caught my attention:

My date - Australian actor Simon Baker a.k.a: The Mentalist. Well, he'd have to be to date me! That fair hair - those reckless curls - green eyes - sexy smile. I think that Aussie men are the sexiest and funniest in the world. Here's a few pictures of my Australian America-based beauty:
The Drop dead gorgeous one:

The Serious 'I-need-a-shave-one' One:
Before fame, even when he was lying in the gutter, begging, he was gorgeous:

Of course, dating someone who is in the public eye, on and off screen isn't easy, as last year's function events show. The paparazzi and glossy mags never give you peace - it was click, click, click.....everywhere we went!:

Sadly, the pressure got too much and we both parted straight after Willow Ball (him back to his champagne lifestyle and me to earth with a bump!)  I have enjoyed this experience, so thanks to Willow and her amazing imagination! See you next year with a different partner. Oh, this fame game........................

September 26, 2010

Dramatic Aromatic

I love how life can call to us
In many different ways
How cotton feels in summer
Under lots of sunny rays

The feel of leaves against your cheek
A dwindling from the trees
When autumn Maidens wisp the winds
In tiny twisterees

The joy of Spring approaching
Picking daffodils galore
Their stalks all wet and sticky
Your wellies even more!

Then the mighty cool of Winter
The master of all seasons
Captures coloured lights and more
For lots of different reasons.

But all year round, there is one thought
That brings me straight to you
When I sniff the perfume bought for me
From 'aromatic' you..........

......find more Magpie Tales on my side bar. Just click!

September 11, 2010

No Good In Bed/Bad

It isn't always transparent but........
Most girls like a bad boy
but they like being bad with a good boy
Even more....

September 07, 2010

In (toilet duck) tion Week

Through until Friday, Prettyboy is attending university for his Induction Week. Where other campers on campus meet and studies and various body parts and tattoos are compared. His first comment to me on his return of day one was "It's a pound a pint at the uni bar!"  Well, at least he's getting his priorities right. And next week, he fends for himself. Thrown into the wonderful Halls of Residence with bills to budget. If the pictures on his phone are anything to go by, it's a very modern and clean university. And if he don't scrub right round the back of the lavatory bowl at least twice a month, he'll be getting his own initiation present from me on my monthly visitor's pass - namely head down the pan and flushed! Oh, Rossi.......time's almost upon us and I've STILL not found those umbilical scissors......

September 04, 2010

Grub's Up/Little Nunnery

Time has been a bit of git lately and therefore I've had to post two weeks' worth of Magpie's.  Once I get something on draft I feel obliged to finish it. But for now, here's the poems. Both of them took me a joyous trip back to childhood. Hopefully I'll get round to reading  all the posts buts MT is vastly - and deservedly - growing! Fingers crossed!


We never bought apples - just raided the trees
Me, Molly, David and Pippa-Louise
That sour-faced old dragon stood watch at her door
So we eyed up the fruit  in her orchard some more

Hard thing to judge was her various moves
Afraid she'd return as we gathered the goods.
For she'd rather the fruit lay rotting on grass
And so scared to be caught in her nightmare impasse!

But we loved dented apples in wrinkly sheaths
We'd spit out the pips that got stuck in our teeth
We'd brave out the sour taste, inspected the holes
Where a grub or maggot would often patrol

We never bought apples - just raided the trees
Me. Molly, David and Pippa-Louise
Every second Sunday, we'd get togged up in our my best,
To make a blessed journey - all skips and hops and rest.

Coins jiggling in my pocket? Checked a million times or more.
Our mouths secrete this tempting sweet  - celestial allure.

We'd ring the bell and stand up straight, smooth the creases from my dress
Greet Mother with a simple smile (and great need to confess!)

Despite her being very old she memorised our names
And placed her hand on every head, her love it did pertain.

We'd get a peek into their house, all beauty and serene
Mahogamy and brass attached to every single beam.

In our peaceful, short duration, her smile wiped us of our sins
As background music waved the air in tones of violins.

We'd buy a slab of tablet - sized in a perfect square
And ensconce a little candle in the iron holder there.

Then the journey back was lengthy, but the sweetness tamed the time
Our home-bound steps were filled with joy and quality sublime

Then time took on a different spin, we grew up all too quick
And phased out our Sunday visits for our teenaged bags of tricks.........

I read the news one quiet day, our Mother with our Lord
Still Superior and humble, gaining her own sweet reward

I  made for her some tablet, bought the brightest, fragrant flowers
And laid them both upon the step, I'd spent my Sunday hours

August 16, 2010

Rust Or Bust....(and Kerri's A Must!)

It's such a wondrous feeling - holding baby to the breast.
Soothing and assuring, when the the little one protests.
Mother Nature visited and she bestowed on me
Two human-dairy hills of flesh, all filled-up for free!

The milk rushed through in mighty flow, my boobs a-heaving mounds!
Baby suckled happily - until one day I'd found....!
The liquid looked like milk-shake - a kind of peachy-pink
My God! My baby!?  What on earth - is this stuff safe to drink..?

So, I called my midwife right away, expressing sheer alarm
But she calmed me as I calmed my daughter, wriggling in my arms.
Just a case of rusty piping  (at the let-down reflex bit!)
It's a rare but safe occurrence (and I felt a proper tit!).

Alas, my baby settled and I had a little laugh
Decided I would treat myself and have a frothy bath!
But I heard a rattly, jutting sound a-coming from below.
The water? It refused to run and I sighed a huge "Oh, no!"

The piping it was rusted, the screw threads worn away
When the water ran, a shade of tan, it finished off my day!
I turned off the taps, and then I lapsed into some futile humming
What a day, I'd had enough -  of boobs and tricky plumbing!

To be a Magpie - click on the pic on my sidebar!
Today, I received a letter from my wonderful, daughter Kerri (KrazyKek). Enclosed was a newsletter from her work, including an article she wrote on  invaluable Dental Nurses. She herself is an R.D.N. (state-registered) and a wonderful attribute to her profession.
     At 12, Kerri needed braces and the usual taunts were shouted her way from other children (as life goes). Jaws. Metal Mouth. Iron Maiden. That sort of thing. Thankfully, she's always had a great constitution and could tongue-whip them back with a vengeance. But the experience pretty much mapped out her future career. She vowed to be in dentistry somehow when she was older, mainly to support other children that needed braces, too! Nowadays it is quite hip to have braces and there are all types of gems that can be added to them for funky fun! Attitudes to dental work is changing. But she's right - we would all be stuffed without Kerri's.
    She doesn't like me bragging about her, but that's tough. Here's her picture and article: She's second from the left in the photo! Remember to click for the bigger pic!

In the past (over 10 years), I've tried to visit her surgery as much as possible, just to get a feel of her. I remember my first visit. There was an article up in frame in the waiting room from a woman who'd had cosmetic surgery and the results were amazing. She commended Kerri highly and I was proud to read those words. Kerri's responce? "All in a day's work, Mum!" Or, to her, no big deal, but I was sooooo proud.  I even needed her services first hand when I had some dental trouble on one of my visits! I tried to be brave for her sake and vice-versa but later we admitted we were both shitting ourselves. It was the first time she ever felt nervous with a patient.  Mummy's blood and pain, you see! Bless her!
              What I admire the most in her, is her ease and attitude, especially with children and old biddies.  If a kiddy is nervous or a bit overwhelmed, she'll get a glove and blow it up, pop the inflated fingers on top of her head and cluck like a chicken, or draw eyes either side and make it into a fish!  Nine times out of ten she gets a smile or giggle from them and it's not so bad.
         She's nicknamed 'Matron' from her dental partner, Andy. Runs a very tight ship and hates if temps move her stuff around. Kerri would lecture a kiddy on the dangers of too much sugar and quite happily pop a sweet in her mouth after saying bye bye, to them!  And I won't even begin to mention her addiction for Scottish tablet! But she's a Mental Dental nurse, with an abundance of knowledge and charm and I upload these little pics taken over the years, as a tribute to my daughter, Kek!

Love you, too, Kek....XxX....big heaps!

August 07, 2010

The Sparkler

The robbers got away with it, a load of household goods
And silver, diamonds, gems and things -like a proper burglar should.
It happened to my neighbours - (she's a stuck up ruddy mare)
They came home to an empty house - them things they weren't there!

It had only been the sixth time that they'd holidayed this year
Such a shame, an awful circumstance when life is so austere!
They'd usually ignore me or avoid my very stare,
It's horrid being invisible when indeed you're blummin' there.

But today they rushed to ring my bell, and asked me if I saw
Anyone?  I shook my head and gave a loud 'pshaw'.
Of course I said I didn't (and it was a true egad)
But the answer might have doubled if I hadn't or I had.

So the Boys in Blue came visiting, insurances were called.
A story plead and things were said (situation NOT forestalled?!)
Anyhow, it settled down, things smoothed out as they wanted,
And lived the life of well-to-do, and loudly - how they vaunted.

A few months passed, and then at last came lots of sunny rays
My garden slowly budding life, brightened up the days.
I found my can eventually, hidden in the rough.
And went inside to fill him up with water and feedstuff.

Then I heard a little rattling, a scrapey-scrappy sound
I tipped my can right upside down and gasped at what I'd found.
Diamonds of pure craftsmen's work, sunk in heavy, golden chains
Oh, how life throws out circumstance and strangely does pertain.

So knocking hard upon their door, I handed them a gift
And a touching little goodbye card obtained thanks to their grift.
Alas, I am a-moving on, I'd love to "stay and chat!"
But there's so much to do now my deposit's on that flat!

July 23, 2010

The Bedsit.

Little room with no view,  I occupy you,
you're filled with a comfort divine.
Lain curled in your bed, dreams spin in my head
while your duvet and my legs entwine.

Our space is so neat, compact and complete,
not much scope for the notions to fall.
Bed only just fits, lamp sullenly lit,
as my silouette creeps up the wall.

The windows lay bare, as I dwell in your care,
no drapes or shades cover the moon.
Just a cloud or the stars, through the parallel bars,
bless us our joyful attune.

Some would dismay at tonality greys
surrounding this truncated cone.
 No luster or lure or sheets haute couture
grands a place up to feel more like home.

With minimum space and the simplest of grace -
we crown the apartments beneath.
But I love my small home, it's where I belong
Who needs palaces or laurel wreaths?

  This poem was inspired by Willow's picture prompt at Magpie Tales.

July 17, 2010

Brass In Passing

Magpie # 23

Old apartments, faded walls
Toned down lights, as nights befall.

And through the day they pass you by
Brushed by coats but not the eye.
A cylindrical brassy chamber
To snuff out flames before the danger.

If they needed you at all
Would you slide easy from the wall?
Would you function as you should?
Before the flames engulfed the wood

Who has cared to go peruse
The embossed words for future use?
No-one has swabbed your cobs away
As spider's spin, where you've to spray.

Can they rely on  pure assumption
You'll take up your primal function?
So many who don't give a jot
If you work  - or you do not.

So many years of disregard
Some learn the burning lesson hard.
She'll visit you, the fire sprite
Seeking reasons to ignite.

Old apartments, faded walls
toned down lights, as nights befall.

This piece has been written by a Willowy prompt for we Magpiers:

July 10, 2010

Sunkissed and Killed!

Magpie 22.......

You're growing so fast. I can't believe the changes in you. You're now mature enough to be tied against a pole, forced to stand straight and remain in this position until I decide what the next move will be. I'll not be around for hours at a time but I'll make sure you're secured under intense heat from the window panels.  I'll let the sun scorch skin until it glows red and the oppressive atmosphere of your dwelling snuffs out invading insects in minutes. Even in this heat I won't be giving you a drink until dusk. I will, however, feed you for they say sustenance is crucial to development. The healthier you are, the bigger joy I get when your time comes.  I may even slice a member of your family up before you, out of curiosity. What's one little sacrifice from an array of essences? Easy pickings.

I am a repeat offender. Every year this urge takes over me. My seed is scattered and the rewards are sweet. The glistening and perfect plumpness of your young skin, ripe for the taking and the basic taste sensation of your flesh can only lure me back time and again. I know you won't be here forever. And that's why every year I can't help but subjugate your future fruits, gird up your loins and keep a very close eye on you........................................

June 22, 2010

Nobody Nose But I......

Today, I am a moaning blogger.  For the first time in at least 10 years I have a rotten head cold.  Apparently, I sounded like a 'malfunctioning chainsaw' in an effort to breath through the night and if there's one thing I cannot stand (next to needing to vomit!) is a stuffy nose. I prefer my breaths to be alpine-tinged and pure but through the one nostril would have done!

               Anyhow, this week is a fairly important week. There are major plans in the making. On Friday my gorgeous daughter and her hubby arrive. Gingernut (the younger son) is headlining with his band No Need For Idols in Glasgow's Barrowland.  As yet, his big sister and hubby haven't heard them live, and this will be the first time Kerri and James will be faced with their masses of fans. I leave the floor after enough snapping suffices as the mid-floor, booze ridden lino takes on new dangers and in the mass hysteria there's no telling what could clunk you on the head - most likely a stray tambourine.  Roll on Friday........

              This Saturday, I am looking forward to a 25th Wedding Anniversary do.  My ex-sister-in-law has invited us all to their celebration. I managed to stayed married to her brother (who'll be there with his 3rd wife and family, too!) for 5 years, which was a huge achievement on our part, but we are still all drawn together via my darling daughter. I'll let you work it all out for yourselves for now as I'm due another sneeze. Roll on Saturday........

               This Sunday afternoon (before Kerri and James return to London) we are holding a garden-party celebration in honour of PrettyBoy for being awarded  H.N.D. (Higher National Diploma)  in Music and Sound Production. This has secured him his place in Glasgow Caledonian University.  His 'proper' graduation ceremony will not be until September in the Town Hall just before he and his mates start Uni.  They will be draped and photographed in the usual gear ect.  Anyhow - I did expect to have the garden decorations and posters finished and printed by now but I have just had a good old 'feeling sorry for myself', day today!

               One thing that I have decided on is what will be printed and pinned to the window. Now for those who are new to the blog, my oldest son, Ross, (PrettyBoy) is a good lad but extremely vain. Never passes a mirror or window without checking his hair ect.  So here's the picture I edited after scrawling hundreds of them to find him in a drink-induced dafty look. Roll on Sunday........

......checking himself in the mirror for the 50th time!

His 'graduation' pic.............that's my clever, funny and mental boy!  Roll on September..............!

You know what.....?  I think that's my sinuses starting to clear...............

June 18, 2010

A Slice Of All Right

Bitsy little Opinel, my implement of faith
you accompany me around the house, it's every single place.

Bitsy little Opinel, in your home of solid wood.
You've helped me scrape off fishy scales when I'm preparing food.

Bitsy little Opinel,  you helped me turn a screw -
when a driver wasn't handy, I relied on little you!

Bitsy little Opinel,  you cut that carpet fine.....
which tucked along the skirting edge in adequate design.

 Bitsy little opinel, you're ready at the hilt -
you nip off garden buds and things that either stick or wilt.

Bitsy little Opinel, your blade is ready fast.
You cut the twine with steady ease -  man's strength you did surpass!

Bitsy little Opinel,  what a nifty blade you've got.
You sliced the bag, I sowed the seeds -  in terracotta pots!

Bitsy little Opinel, what about those leather shoes?
You quickly pierced a new hole, now the straps no longer loose!

Bitsy Little Opinel, oh how you master slits -
and sharpen wood and leave behind cute curly shaven bits!

Bitsy Little Opinel- my saviour of the view -
who doth need a handyman when I've got little you?

Bitsy little Opinel - in your wooden home of beech
I'll treasure you forever more...Dieu vous bénisse.

Bitsy little Opinel - I could big you up all day -
but blades have to recuperate once grime is wiped away.

Oh, Bitsy little Opinel - whom I love through and through......
there'll never be an Opinel of  ever losing you!

Written from this week's prompt at

June 13, 2010

Air Etchings.

The field is such a fine place
for the easel board and lead.
Miles and miles of nothingness,
a clear and silent head.

Sharpening the pencils
with a sure and steady hand.
Then breath in inspiration,
casting thoughts out to the land.

A wispy stroke, a beaded brow,
just where will this line end?
Along the shaded darker route,
with his linear of friends?

A blended, smudgy vision
is now starting to evolve.
As graphite takes you over
Reality dissolved.

The lineweight finds its ideal shade
The pulp accepting tones
In simple sweeps the graphite keeps
Creations as His own.

Miles and miles of nothingness
That neither talks nor lies.
It is amazing what appears 
when not before the eyes.

Another great prompt from Willow at:

June 08, 2010

Stoney Grace

Here's my effort of Magpie 17:   It's a bit late but I had it on draft to complete.

Stoney Grace.

Since I was a budding child, you've fascinated me
Ever staring, weather bearing, what will be, will be.

You were hidden in our garden, overgrown with manic sheaves
Concrete waves that framed your face peeked through the ivy leaves.

We picked you up and there you were, a bust in concrete grey
Dusted down and turned around our little girl of clay.

Moved you around the garden, to give you visions new
And shelter when the sky is fierce, all dark and moody blue.

And so our strange new relic, now our guardian of ground
Kept a steady eye on things, no sight and not a sound.

I asked you as I cleaned you if you're shouting or in shock
But the secret soul expression stays solidified in rock.

I've even tried to name you but a title never fits
You'll always be our mystery with grainy little bits

You're the maiden of our garden, in which ever way you choose
In taciturn your endless stare surrounds a tearful druse.

Then one night, so so long ago still sticks with me within
You creeped  me out with your silent shout, obscurity wherein:

By the window opened wide, moonlight on sullen grey,
I heard a lull in lilac tones, a singular soiree.

It never did repeat itself, where e'er you graced the ground,
May long you live in silent mode and evermore confound.

May 23, 2010

From The Pier

This is my effort from the picture above in this week's Magpie Tales.
As I walk home late from the tracks of my past
I peer at your horizon, a soul that's so vast.
I breath in the sea air, and cry to the night
As front waves appear in the sodium light.

Under the water swim thousands of you
Temperate actions and hullabaloo.
Shifty and scared, brave, taking chances
Bullying, battling, swift primal dances.

Gathering shoals of different kinds
Colours that blend, others that blind.
Shaping your world as nature intended
Instinctively loving, a partner defended.

I could capture you all, my ultimate prize
Tossing back those I may come to despise.
With all of you fishes held under the sea
Can't one come ashore and try capturing me?

May 22, 2010

Son, Done and Dusted.........!

funny computer frustration gif avatarGod, what a dust came out of my computer's fan bit! It had been playing up for weeks and the sticking for more than 20 seconds at times sometimes, was well getting on my tits. It was a bigger nightmare when trying to play some music and it 'stuck'. It simulated a machine gun on certain songs and others peaks almost made me howl. Of  course, Mr. Compy lives in PrettyBoys room and he does smoketh and chucketh clothes and things everywhere so whips up a ruddy great cloud that you don't always see settling on the insides of places.

Trying to get a hand from a passing bloke in my house is tricky as they are either working, moaning, gigging,  hungover, studying, yada, yada, yada.......!  They insisted that a professional clean out was in the best interest but was it really that much of an inside job? Was it buck! So I had to go it alone and try 'n' rely on little old me.
Not a great computer boffin generally (I mean I haven't even worked out how to do one of them here thingies that take you to another link) I've been clever enough practically to reckon that the machine is overheating when the fan struggles to spin, and on checking this there was a thick layer of dusty stuff!

 Couldn't be arsed to take the whole side of the hard drive off, so I accessed the fan through the the holes in the vent.  I used barbeque skewers and twisted damp cotton wool tips round the ends of them, titled the hard drive to balance against the wall and with the aid of a torch, carefully and precisely swabbed off the layers of dust and dirt, and extracted the lumps so gently off the fan and attached vent, gently eeking the swabs of dirt back through the holes. Viola. After an hours cleaning the machine (for now) is working like a dream. Faster and cooler.

It'd cost me £35 to have this done in my local repair shop. Hang your head out the window in smokey-shame PrettyBoy....!! God knows what lives under that bed....!

ps.......I have no idea why the text colour is changing during paragraphs...........! Oh, well. Can't win 'em all!

May 13, 2010

And I Would Walk 500 More......!

London was fantastic.  My darling daughter and her wonderful hubby, James, treated me like royalty.  Kerri managed to get the whole week off work, so we spent it as a duo as much as possible. Even so, she made sure each day of the rather quick week mattered and contained happy snaps. My twin sister and her kids live only a short distance away from my daughter so I was blessed to spend time with them also. Kerri was my racy little chauffeur, happily zooming me about Buckinghamshire.

The most precious days to me were the ones spent in London at the zoo, and Madame Tussauds. We played fabulous tricks on friends of my twin sister's as I posed as she. Kerri even arranged a visit with my stepson, Sean, (whom we'd both never seen for 10 years) and his wife and wee boy, Ryan. It was a very emotional reunion and remarkably he only lives 11 miles away from her in Henley. So they've promised to keep in touch.

I could go on forever here, but bear with me and I'll upload a few (shed-loads) snaps. I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow!

My wee girl is crazy about penguins. I'm not sure how many she's drunkenly sponsored but this little guy seemed to know her!

 At the zoo's aquarium. Electric blue jellyfish!

Camden's Market Stalls. Unique, punky and chic!

Brad Pitt eat your heart out!  Socket to 'em  professor!

My pal the Pope before he popped off!

My ultimate hunk of wax....a dip into Depp.

Weekend Peeps!

Everyone gathering for Sunday nibbles and wine!

 Me with my beautiful niece, Layla. My twin sister's daughter.

My handsome and gifted nephew, Ashley, (Layla's brother) who attends classical music boarding school.  So proud of him!

The two 'mums'!  James's mum drove down for a visit. It was great seeing her again!

The man of the house, putting up with all that female psycho-babble stuff! Nice earring, Jamesina!

Our Day in Marlow.....!

Our second pub of the day.

This pub had 3D television. It was fookin' brilliant. Me twin and daughtah in utter fascination, here. I actually ducked twice!

All Saints Church in Marlow, where my daughter and James married. We went in for a quick visit (as the pipe organs were being tuned) and I was in awe all over again.

My twin and I in the church's ground, right next to Marlow Bridge as the Thames rippled past.

Me and my twin.

 I could have spent all day at the water's edge. So peaceful.

 My 'ikkle 'grandson', Ryan, with a bopped nose (it wasn't me!). This was my first meeting with him! Such a clever and happy baby.

Kerri with Ryan. Kids adore her, she has a great affinity with the under 3's....! I pray her fertility treatment works soon. She'll be an excellent mum!

And with her best friend, Gemma, and little George who visit her often. Gemma is preggers again so Kek helps out by running after George for her!

Saying Ta-Ra To Me Twin !

This was undoubtedly the hardest goodbye I'd said in years. The twin connection is a bond like no other. It's spooked us out often - especially when we were young, but we've grown to accept it now.

The daughters got bored as the mums reminisced 20 odd years or more!

So they delved into my handbag and amused themselves as thus! They're apparently portraying themselves as 'old sweetie-wives' as me and my twin natter.

So it wasn't long until they ga-ga'd us!

Kerri tried on her new surgery scrubs and gave them instant approval.
She wanted pastel pink ones as they show up blood spatter better! Chin (literally!) up, Kek...!

Kerri hiding as the Domino's Pizza van man approaches with our order! Your treat, young lady!!

My Last Day........*sniff*

Even on our last 'chill' day I 'cheesed' them, but after a few glasses of Chardonnay, Kerri was striking up sarcastic and funny poses again!

The conservatory was amazing. I'd burn to a crisp in seconds in full-on summer! God help the poor window

These stairs led to my favourite section of the house - the music room! All open plan and welcomingly melodic!

I laughed so much at Kerri's dreadful notes on the piano that the photo came back blurry! Your grampa Smith would have loved this room, Kek - and your sense of humour!

 Garden Of Goodbye!   Haste-me-back!
Me posing at the patio table. Many a good barbie has sizzled on this patch, so I'm told. The weather for May in London was well below average and rainy so we had an indoors equivalent!

Here he is.Bertie - our favourite chocolate labrador! Boy can that one piddle.

Bertie and Kerri, running circles round each other and the tree. He managed to control her eventually!

Bertie leashed and ready for his walk.

My girl proving to me that I actually suit a dog and that they're good exercise.......and don't my poor arse and thighs know it!

One thing I have learned more than anything is that I have a beautiful  daughter, inside and out, who with her hubby, James, have worked long and hard in all aspects of life and I can't stress enough how proud of them I am. No airs. No graces. My girl is a pillar of strength to many. So very, very funny, too! I don't think my heart could grow any fonder in her absence as it already is. It'd simply burst.

Big Heaps,