February 28, 2014

Sochi Cum Curling

Here's my madcap daughter at her dental surgery with some of the other R.D.N's having a bit of post-Winter Olympics fun. It rarely feels like work while Kerri is around........!

 Vine videos are continuous but the sound disappears as soon as you scroll off the picture.  Volume in left top corner!


 " Bourne End winter Olympics - Curling On A Budget"

February 27, 2014

Refusing The Snip!

For nigh on seven weeks now,  I have been  continuously nagging   patiently waiting on my hubby finding time to give my hair a trim.   He always used to trim the boys' hair and in his youth worked in a stylist shop, where he and his buddy would make a bit of pocket money by sneaking into the premises at night, straight from the pub, to give cheap haircuts to their mates!  (Heaven knows what some results must have looked like but under the influence sounds not too bad an idea for customers).  Anyhow -  I have threatened to report him about this act to the police, despite the shop being bulldozed 15 years ago and the owner dead - lest he gets chopping!  Perhaps some public humiliation will do the trick:

Oh, why won't he give me a haircut?
That significant other of mine
Always telling me ''go to a salon'',
when at home he can do it just fine!

Whenever he hands me the clippers
I shave both his head AND his beard
Right from the chin to the crowning,
it looks splendid,  just feels a bit weird!

Oh, why won't he give me a haircut?
My stylist takes twenty-five pounds!!
And the walk is a mile and a half long,
he could snippity-snip on home ground!

He once was trainee hairdresser,
in an upmarket salon, you know
After dark, both he and a buddy
would trim barnets (illegally so!)

Oh, why won't he give me a haircut?
For it's catching on brollies and things
And scratching this mop when it's itchy,
gets entangled on watches and rings!

Oh man - if the weather is windy! -
It's wooshing mad from side to side
And often there's food clinging to it,
summer insects hop on for a ride!

Oh, why won't he give me a haircut?
That miserable hubby of mine
His edges are straighter than rulers,
his fringes are simply devine!

Though I've promised I'd sweep up the split-ends,
and talk bollocks of holiday plans
No bribery, pleading or begging,
is shifting this pig of a man!!

Oh, why won't he give me a haircut?
It near smothers him when we're in bed
I've gulped it in, near bloody choked me,
even so, he still won't go ahead!

Well, no point in me taking a hairy
No point in me starting to curse
He's reluctant to shampoo and clip me
Someone pass me my boots and my purse! 

 ps......I never have my hair up out in public as I don't think I suit it, in case one wonders why I just don't pony-tail or bun it!

February 25, 2014


When words don't pay a visit
and lay dying in the grass
One once so exquisite
has now reached a sad impasse

Caught in author deadlock
evaporating ink
No hand or mind in wedlock
refuse to interlink

Notions captured at their will
from days of pressed papyrus
Blames himself and Sterne's quill
for inspiration dryness 

But thoughts can be transported
and captured there in dreams
His images cavorted -
words bursting at the seams

Life the pencil, tap the keys 
and let your story out 
You will again start to appease 
and never block one out


February 22, 2014

Just Because - What Makes You Cry....?

I'm intending on using this as my Music Monday song of this week on my other blog but I thought I'd treat any other visitors here to this cracking (and very short - so no excuses not to have a listen) video.  It's quirky, fun, and beautifully catchy. So: What Makes You Cry?


February 20, 2014

Not Standing A Chance

In just over a week, a second baby girl in Britain has been attacked and killed by the family pet dog.  Only yesterday six day old Eliza-Mae from Wales, was mauled by an Alaskan malamute,  considered docile and having never showed aggression.  Exact circumstance has yet to be reported and for now the dog is still alive.

Nine days prior, a beautiful 11 month old baby, Ava-Jane from Blackburn in England, was mauled to death by her mother's partner's pit bull.  The baby had been asleep and settled upstairs for the night when the dog pounced for 'no apparent reason'.  This breed of pit bull is prohibited in Britain and the owner faces prosecution for that fact alone.  This dog had a reputation for being a menace in the neighbourhood and was, ironically, called Killer!  It was immediately put to sleep.

I grew up with Golden Retriever dogs that my father and brothers took on hunting and fishing trips.  They were the friendliest and most obedient dogs in the neighbourhood but if family and friends visited with any really young kids, the dogs were secured out back after a short supervised 'hello' from the children.  And let's be honest - some dogs need protecting from kids, so outside and away from the little terrors indoors was probably best all round.

All it takes is a bit of thought and consideration.  A new child, this squirmy and noisy thing brought into a territory out of the blue  (as was the case of little Ava Jane - it was her boyfriends' house the baby died in)  must confuse and upset a pet used to all the attention.  Even animals are jealousy prone.  No one likes their kingdom invaded.

Seventy-five percent of all dog attacks are made by the family pet.  These statistics have been around a while, as have horror stories been widely reported through media and yet the mixture of baby and risky dog continue to grow.  We see very young parents pushing a pram, accompanied by a pit bull or rottweiler!  That seems to be an absolute must here in Scotland!  Some have even lied to breeders their child status on purchase of the animal!  The under five warning is disregarded in desperation of owning a Staffy!

No matter how well we think we know our pets, instinct is always part of them.  Even the most docile and trusted dog can have an off day, feel ill and wane from it's usual nature.  These babies stood no chance in those powerful jaws. What a way to die.  Pity some owners put pet and offspring under the same regard.

February 18, 2014

No Exit

                                                                  Keep a look out for the little - or large - edits in the picture!

Down the rusty stairs of shame
Deceit so sweet time and again
A backstreet place, alone and lairy
Spiderwebbed and ordinary

A little flat of dreary hue
Perfects a hidden rendezvous
Where darkness lures and instincts shove
Against that lowly lamp of love

Its walls provide and  shutters shelter
Sliding down guilt's helter skelter
Can't escape and don't know why
Relentless needing to comply

Secrecy unleashed on silk 
As nurturing as mother's milk
Will not erase the fool in thee
When home alone and she with he

A multitude of neon signs
Pulsates the exits of the mind
And let exciting fears ferment 
To pay the price before the rent?


February 13, 2014

♥ Love Is In The Heir ♥

I've got this yearly commitment of sending a certain someone a card on 14th February.  No - this lady of latter years won't be buying her hubby a Valentine's Card.  Oh, no!  The card is for another man - our handsome, oldest son -  for it was Valentine's Day that Ross/PrettyBoy came into the world.   It's nuts fighting the queue's of the loved-up & losers with their hearts and roses and stuff just to purchase a burpday card!  But he's
worth it!

And now on the other wuvvy son side!  I was ever so glad to find out that GingerJesus/Adam is back in regular touch with HIS first love.    I know you shouldn't judge, pick, or comment on your offsprings' choice in gf/partners, but welcome them as best you can and be there to pick up the emotional pieces if it goes wrong.   But I was soooo excited to learn that he and Tierney - who met each other at a cute 15 - had gone for a meal one night,  then stopped over the next.  Old flames reignited!   They drifted apart after a while due to education, work and family commitments.  But life's more settled for them now.  I love this girl to bits and know they couldn't be better suited. Bubbly, sweet, funny, hard working, pretty and kind are but a few of her qualities.   Don't get me wrong - I've welcomed any other date or two he's brought back but I'm so hoping love truly is in the future air again for them!

Ending now, on a bit of a puzzler.  On passing a charity shop today, in the window besides hearts, roses, confetti and stuff, were two large-framed pictures with a real bride and groom posing sweetly.    The era for the snap, judging by the style, looked like an 80's or early 90's happy couple and they certainly didn't tick the pearly boxes a picture-perfect appearance snap a studio would use!   Now, I'm not always the sharpest pencil in the box but it had me wondering as to what was actually on sale here and why.   Was it to draw attention to the rather majestic frames surrounding the photo?   Maybe reject items of an in-law who'd at last got her baby back?   Recovered from a skip?   And what was the 'today' story of the smiley couple.   I know when my first marriage went tits up, most of the wedding snaps were cursed, torn, binned or darted at.   I almost went into the shop out of mere interest.  Aha!  Maybe that's the lure-you-in strategy bit?   Whatever the reason I still felt it a bit strange, and sensed a kind of sadness about it.

Whatever your romantic notion may be, have a Happy Valentines Day.   And to some, just have a Happy Friday.   I know I'll be giving a graphic account of how, 25 years ago, a certain young fop caused me great pain, near splitting me in two, and turned me into a sweating, panting, growling, abusive demon for 10 hours!   Before or after he blows out the candles....? We'll see! 


February 11, 2014

Day Off Kiss Off

Oh no, your key turns in the lock
you're home an hour early!
I promised to clean out the car
and polish it till pearly!

Those bins are overflowing still,
forgot to shell the peas
There's no lentils in the lentil soup
expect no guarantees.

Forgot to take the doggie out -
slept right through the alarm
I guess one piddle up the wall
will do the house no harm

I tried my hand at hoovering -
some bloody noise that makes!
But I had to hide the evidence
of breakfast's crumbly cakes

See! The pile of clothes for ironing
no longer tops the chair,
(just crushed it all into a bag
that's underneath the stair!)

YaY! I watered all the indoor plants
with innocent intent
But overflowed the pots by using
metric measurement

Be careful as you walk around 
that shelf piled high with books
For that doggie piddle's not the only
sure relief he took!

And I know I said I'd weed the drive
but dandelions are tough
That 'L' shaped metal weedy thing
near took a nail right off!

I popped out quickly to the shops
where faced with a consign
Was a grocer so hell bent on selling
me a vintage wine  (hic)

In my favour (that's not faring well)
I managed to complete
The making of our king-sized bed
with every corner neat

I'm pure and simply guilty of
domestic misdemeanor
Now, I think it's time we walked that page
and found ourselves a cleaner

Oh, you know that you'll forgive me,
once my lips form their sweet pout
For I've juggled up your senses
and played annoyance out

Lets crush these satin bed sheets 
in this non-marital bliss
And seal our wreakless lifestyle
with a neat and tidy kiss.


February 07, 2014

Fabby Cash Cabbie

The older I'm getting, the easier pleased I seem to be.  I don't usually enjoy the same TV shows as him, but The Cheaper Half introduced me to this zany American quiz show called Cash Cab.  It consists of random public requiring a ride, so enter the taxi where suddenly the roof above them bursts into lights and chimes.   The host/driver (Ben Bailey) duly invites them to answer general knowledge questions en route to their destination -  which are mostly a minimum of 10 blocks away.  

Winnings go up the harder the question ( $50, $100, $200, amounts ) and you can call a friend to help with an answer, or even shout out the cab and ask a passing pedestrian to help.  If all goes well you are offered double or nothing (if you are still in the game at your destination )  all pending on a video clip question but most just take the money and eff off!   During all this, you are allowed 3 wrong answers, a wrong 4th means you get chucked out the cab there and then, putting some OTT whoopers' gas at a peep! At best you're a good few hundred dollars up, at worst you get a free taxi ride lest you still have the remainder of your journey to see out! 

Any possible British who are suckers for mad format and  haven't seen it yet, it's on Quest TV every morning @ 7am.  My only complaint is that Ben the driver happily hands THEM money and no one thinks about tipping the poor guy as they exit!  Ah, well, he doesn't seem to mind.  The most we hold out hope on from our taxi driver is that he doesn't fart out last night's lager, chips and curry sauce before our destination.

Gee, I dunno. I'll be posting recipes next!


February 05, 2014

Introducing.......The Kooshtie!

I take great pleasure in presenting Scotland's latest brand new band,  The Kooshtie.   Front man, Oliver, is PeaPod's best friend and some may remember him from No Need For Idols, who PeaPod still drums and composes with.  

Unfortunately, original actors booked for the filming of this video pulled out through illness at the last minute, but director Simon Gillespie persuaded the bands' actual friends to come forth and invented simple ideas as  filming went on.  Shot in no time at all !   The prodigal son wasn't performing in this video but instead makes a cameo appearance from 4.02 at the end!  

They're a great bunch of kids to know personally and it's been an honour to have had one or two of them stumble and vomit from an upstairs window in a room where JD's, song and notions have stirred and started up in!

Right -  here's The Kooshtie with their debut single Go-Get'er:

They'd like a YouTube 'like' if you'd like to 'like', like!

February 03, 2014

Sir's Symphony

I said I could play you, in all sorts of ways
Leaving lessons in longing to hiss through the haze
Captivate, demonstrate, lull you right in
Like tonic to absinthe, green fairy in gin

Oh, I do love to play you, dynamically so
Till your head spills with madness, and senses bestow
On the line, disincline invites to go
Peck marks from the tiger, paw prints from the crow

How much more shall I play you, my vested delight
Under sleep depravation and bumps in the night
Nom de plume, be back soon, never the twain
As is Bonnie to Tarzan and Clyde is to Jane

Ever more then to play you, my sweet acolyte
As our keyboard's fermenting its black and its white
Good or bad, lost but had, certainty spurned
Pupil teaching the tutor, while class is adjourned