October 20, 2008

N...n...n...n...n...nineteen..? Oh, s**t!

Today is our wedding anniversary. This morning I got up and having the house to myself (after school and college holidays) was fabulous. McScrooge was away fishing, too! Hurray! Yup, the kids got themselves off and McScrooge gets up ridiculously early anyhow and buggers off, so it felt more like my birthday - with bits of Xmas and Mother's day chucked in!

McScrooge should have been home for a bit dinner but I don't know where he's got to. Looks like the champagne (Asda'a fizzy wine) and the bubble bath (no comment) planned for the 30 minutes (far, far too long) that he gets home before the boys do will have to be postponed until our 20th. Phew.............!

October 10, 2008

My Precious Baby...and Hers.

The rotten year I'm having has worsened. Last night my darling daughter called to say that she had received some bad news. It has been confirmed that she has polycystic ovaries which reduces her chances of falling pregnant naturally. She's already been trying for a year. I didn't know how to react when she told me. I was stunned. I felt awful and useless. Didn't know whether to cry or not. But I'm the mum, I'm the one who should have reassured her but I felt useless. Kerri lives 500 miles away from me in Buckinghamshire which makes it all the worse. But she has been having problems for a while now and she hasn't said.

Kerri has always been there for everyone. She never told me as she didn't want to 'worry' me. Even as long as a year ago she suspected she could maybe have this condition but doctors dismissed it. It wasn't until she stresses to them that I needed a rushed hysterectomy at 29, that they referred her for a scan. In all that time her cysts were growing. How awful. I always worried that she would suffer from endometriosis and pre-cancerous cells as I did. The pain from that was excruciating and I guess I sighed with relief that she wouldn't suffer from that type of pain that I was glad that it was only cysts! But I underestimated the psychological side of this. By the end of her phone call, although clearly shaken, she sounded more positive. There is treatment to help fertility along the way and we've no other option but to put our faith into what ever medics have to offer. So after saying our farewells on the phone, I was pleased that she sounded a little happier, but I felt awful that there was nothing more that I could do or say there and then. I had the weekly shop to do and I tried to focus on that to help keep the tears at bay.

I actually thought I was coping okay until a mum lifted a little might from it's baby carrier to comfort it from crying and the thought that my precious baby, my only daughter, my first born, might not ever get the chance to kiss her own little one tenderly on the cheek, simply gutted me. I had to end my shopping trip there and then. I stood sobbing in the supermarket car park while my husband paid for the goods. I prayed she gets the chance to snuggle up to her own little one.

I can still picture her own little peachy face with it's podgy cheeks, and eyes 'like a Chinaman'. I can still feel those long long fingers with the tiniest of nails at the ends and her insistence for a breastfeed every two hours. But she's from determined stock. I conceived naturally with her brothers with only one ovary and endometriosis despite the doctors' warnings that I might never do so. Fertility treatment has more chances than ever at happy endings. But I've a feeling that Mother Nature will be around more than usual and keeping to her job title - with love.

October 06, 2008

Little Lord Laughalong.

My youngest, Adam, 14, went back to primary school today. No, not because he's as thick as shit, but for work experience as part of his high school education. His job for this week is PA to the Administration corridor's staff rooms. He was lucky to get the position as it was mostly sought after by girls and had around 40 interested all together. But little smart ass got the job!

His day started by being shown to his room and basically, he manned the telephones, made tea, took dictation, made coffee, welcomed visitors, made more tea, helped the nurse with a head injury, made coffee, and so on. At one point he had a quick game of cards with the janitor!

All his old teachers welcomed him greatly. At lunchtime the women made him sit with them at the staff room dining table and were asking him all the embarrassing questions. Has he a girlfriend, and what high school subjects he's taken and rejected,ect. One, Mrs, Russell, came up to him and gave him a cuddle saying..."I'd never forget that face - how are you, ROSS?" ....his older brother! Egg on face time for one teacher, but by the end of the school day it was all smiles, charm and high-fiving the teachers! Mind you, the little boy in infants who had 'had an accident' slightly brought him down to primary earth! All in all, he enjoyed day one. Home half an hour earlier, too!

So, a future in education of some sort for Adam, maybe? That I wouldn't mind. Perhaps he'd be able to teach himself how to get from the side of his bed to the washing machine with them dirty boxers, then....? Hmmmmm......we'll see.......!