April 29, 2012

To Save On Ink

To save on ink
I think I'll sink
into a jar of water
And read instead
to save on lead
at Dictionary Corner.

Can't find the words, 
it's too absurd
for what I'd like to say, so
I'll engross myself
upon this shelf
and wile away the day

Don't think I'm rude, 
because I'm nude
it makes me calm and mellow
Just leave me there
without a care
until the water's yellow!  

April 25, 2012

Back Soon

I am taking a bit timeout to just doddle away and set a new layout for Blogger. It has been a bit of a hectic time lately and my brain just isn't coping with meantime functions, so my Magpie's and mestuff are on simmer for now. By Sunday they should all be better!  I'm also trying to get some control and confirmations.of the summer charity gig that is very gently in the workings...!  Back Soon - so try not to lock the door, else I won't get in...........!!!

April 20, 2012

On A Non-commision Mission

Got up a bit later today to GingerJesus actually ironing!  Not the huge mound that my armchair was struggling to hold but his tee-shirt for work.  He has a part-time job at Tesco's to help boost his lager and studies ventures and to give my purse some well deserved relaxation. 

The role he has at work (as well as a checkout bloke) is green awareness and to promote their 'Help The Rainforest' customer campaign.  With the amount of bog roll he goes through, he's a ruddy hypocrite! 

Later on I decided to pay a little visit as I hadn't yet been in the shop causing trouble since he started.  He stood shaking his head by the till as I followed my single pack of chewing-gum up the conveyer belt and handed over a £20 for it. Bless him, he even said 'Have a crap day', in a low voice and gave me a wink! Talking of which - I noticed in one of the impulse buy shelves at the tills that they had packets of Imodium on sale, which sort of bamboozled me. I mean, you've either got the shits or you haven't.

On my way out I was accosted by a bloke trying to sell me cable television, phone, broadband and other commissioned-waged-desperado measures. I told him no thank you,  I was happy enough with my Etch-A-Sketch. That shut him up. 

Sadly, my venture did not end in joy as my chocolate Malteser Bunny addiction is getting harder to feed now Easter is over. I've tried Freddo Frogs bars and Minto Sheep ones but the hit just isn't the same!  Hey-Hoe!  Have a lovely weekend! 


April 19, 2012

No Fringe Just Cringe Benefits

 This daft little poem was inspired by my beautiful and totally tapped daughter, Kerri, who was up from London with her hubby for a visit. She gave me an impromptu haircut during her stay and it wasn't bad at all! In her dental surgery it's important to work with a steady hand yet Kerri was let loose on my hair after a few voddies  (for her!) and the result lies below:  Yes, I did cut Kerri's fringe myself in the pic and bless her, she could easily have had her revenge for such a disaster...lol
My one and only baby girl
Got my hair and heart all in a twirl
We shared the shower every day
Shampooing all our woes away

We'd comb each others tangles free
I'd tug  (she'd shrug) upon on my knee
Sometimes we would plait our hair
A tricky, sticky, wet affair

Banana clips and pony tails
Ringlet look that never fails
Ribbons of the lacy kind
Were always very hard to find

Drama as the school admits
An epidemic -  lice and nits!
Bone combs, creme foams, scalps that throb
It never was a pleasant job!

Scrunchies, bunches, bands and bows
A fringe that hides both eyes and nose!
Short and spiky, long again
Purple every now and then

Blow drying was a nightmare too
My face took on vermilion hues
Brushes stuck in my dry nest
Conditioners all failed the test!

A few years on, we'd sit adjacent
Heads stuck in a silver basin
Bubble permed to our delight
We must have looked a proper sight!

Tying, dyeing, styles of yore
Are what our memories cater for
What better way to cringe and share
Than awful pictures of our hair

Kek, you sparkled all the way
Tiara on your wedding day
But this will always make me cringe
Can you forgive me for that  fringe?......


April 17, 2012

Hotel India - Video Stills

My older son's band Hotel India is in the middle of filming their next video, but I managed to hunt down a few stills from the company.  My sidebar is now bereft of both my sons' videos and tracks  as I'm hoping to run a Blogger website for each band as their popularity in the central belt of Scotland is on the increase. I have left Facebook links above and for No Need For Idols - my younger son's band  here as well as sidebar badge links.  All videos are still on my Bits Down The Side  blog for now.

The director is working hard and with wonders with them as this video has an actress from uni drama, and a stalking storyline so it'll be a little more gritty than their past ones.  Anyhow my lad (PrettyBoy) the handsome drummer  is actually performing here 50 feet high in the rocks and no doubt crapping it!

April 15, 2012

The Marquis Daughter

(At first glance the prompt looked like someone painting the town red so I kind of stuck with that theme!)

What was it, father, what was it you said?
"When you're older I'm hoping you'll paint the town red."
No-one knew for a dead cert that he'd been the one
to start all the riots and burgundy 'fun'.

Marquis of Waterford to all his friends
All loyally knowing he was round the bend!
Upstanding and well dressed, a royal delight, with a
ruby raw tendency he would benight

He'd gather his cronies and gladly construct
partaking  in mania, flout, then destruct 
A reprobate, hooligan, inviting duels
living off red while he's nobody's fool

Out in long scarlet coats, silk stockings too
these red gutter-bullies awaiting for you!
Painting all doors and the low window frames
leaving their trade marks in streaky acclaim

Around Melton Mowbray in garish vermilion
charging exploits of  placebo civilians
A spread and a spree, an offer to mauley
hands looking like silk leaves but stabbing like holly.

The Mad Marquis tainted by some other brush?
Reputed a title with turpentine crush
Could this man be elusive - a myth or a fact?
A fitting identity of Spring Heeled Jack

I guess under one colour, tainted the same,
we'll reach equal madness and shady disdain, but.....
What was it, father, what was it you said?
I wonder who was first to paint the town red?


April 14, 2012

I Interrupt My Catching Up............

.........To Bring You This:


( Video NOT the same as the sidebar one I had up, just a few stolen moments from it!)

My younger son (GingerJesus/Adam /drummer) and his fellow band mates have a debut video  now released.  The track, What's Become Of Me is chosen from their hit EP and the video shots compiled from various venues and studios. Once again, I give you No Need For Idols:


April 09, 2012

Maniac Attack!!

I shall be gone for a few days as my amazing and crazy daughter and her equally as tapped husband are up for a visit. I'll get round to your Mags soon. But for now....Kerri and James - take it away:

April 08, 2012


Passing by
Those petals of yesteryear
Tapping at the innards
No clear protection

There she was
Reborn and open, crisp to the day
Swept onwards on a breath of  clutter

Who supposed she would appear?
Hatchlings by God's own doing?
As curates turn in different directions
Avoiding shells


April 04, 2012

S'no Funny!

A week ago today in Scotland, and recorded for the first time, the weather delivered a very freaky 74°F in the month of March.  It lasted for around 5 days and the summer-desperados lolled about in shorts, crop tops, flippin' - flops and such attire, planted bulbs and early bedding plants and had barbeques despite it getting dark by 7.30pm.  Today, I awoke to this:

As the day progressed, the flakes got bigger and although persistent didn't lay, but there was a viciously cold wind accompanying them. Hills and highlands do have a few inches and tonight it is to plummet to -3° C.  

Now, I'm a sun-dodger by nature. Don't like the summer if it's dry and hot and I longed to shout at some of the deluded who thought it was 'great that summer had come early this year'  to go check the forecast or their sanity.  Yes, the wacky weatherman was right, we were in for some snow, albeit a dusting. 

This is Scotland not the Pyrenees........but, wait a minute....there's a turn up....... what's that I see yonder? Yup! I'm pretty sure that's a snow leopard in them thar hills.........! 

April 01, 2012

Nesting Natalia

I am not looking, if I do, I'll cry
In this place where the lives and the colours belie
You dragged me away from my safety, my shell
Dragged me away to this shoreline of Hell

Where sunsets are vying for everyone's love
No proclivity here to go thanking above
Clouds can crash angrily, as they desire
Keep fuelling a rage, never logging the fire

Where are the roses and little girl's scrawl
That we used to find hiding in bits of the wall
I still need my night-light, the sound of the town
A convoy of traffic to calm my nerves down

I need altercations with most of my friends
Skirmishes, tirades to the bitter end
This silence is killing, horizon of hate
Please take me home, Father, before it's too late

Can't anyone listen, anyone see
Lift me, assuaging upon your knee
Sometimes the decision, for grandeur and wealth
With it's breaths crisp and clear isn't good for your health

We don't need sunny climates or foreign debates
Appraisal from big-wigs whom everyone hates
Just let me languish and breath in foul air
I'll take my chances, do the same from your chair.

I can't look from the window, if I do, I'll cry
Watching the contrails consuming the sky
Picturing, pondering, a journey full blown
You in your paradise, me in my home.