Fool Britannia

It isn't often I whap up a video but I was both in stitches and shame at the same time with this one.  Here's the leader of my country, in all his political swinery, making a shambles of himself on The David Letterman show.  A little cutting jest to Letterman went something like:

'We interfered in your (America's) politics roughly 200 years ago, sailing up the river to burn down the White House.'

Moments later, Letterman left him with egg on his face after he couldn't answer a few historic, British facts. His ignorance in not knowing who wrote 'Rule Britannia'  probably summed up the guy in that useless little hesitation before he replies 'Elgar?  I, at least, knew it was a Scots and English joint effort of some puffs in ruffs!

Cameron has raped the economy, failed to support the health system, the rich are being taxed less, our soldiers in Afghanistan are dropping like flies and as for education - he's abolished travel expenses for further education students and threatening to cut the student loan. These are just some of the things effecting me personally, but the list goes on.  He's labeling the unemployed and single mums in his swine-ful own way as 'adapting to a culture of disruption and irresponsibility '  What he really wants to dub them are "Families from Hell!"  He's an Etonian and will never put the condiments on the sitting room table. Never has. 

 I've never experienced so many tumbling blocks and brick walls and basic rights being arsed with, in any government before.  Besides - when a PM takes time out from G20 talks with Obama & Co,  to focus on a shit comedian's (Jimmy Carr) tax dodging, reassures me no end that he's got his priorities right!



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Airing et Layering

Back from a break to a delightful prompt.  Just a simple little piece to get me back into the swing of things......!  I suppose I gave more thought to the kind of artwork it is than what it said to me. I'm in lazy mode this week!.!
 

What makes sense to some
flies too high for others
Caught in mid-motion
angst proportional druthers

A sense to be soaring
though be it with rage
Let the score on the canvas
hop on to the page

If a cleared head makes irony
scale upon scale
Who's to say that the tooth
needs to follow the nail?

From binary, finery, 
take pieces apart
And finish much later
what thought pulled apart

As we gaze from the marble
a flute in our hand
Makes a welcomed envision
for a brush to crash land

A story repeated in
hundreds of ways
Tells not what the eye sees
but a fuelled heart portrays

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Wi Ma Ain Folks

London was amazing. It ended up an extended visit but boy did it rock.  I'm not going to go through the whole shebang here - just pop up the odd picture or two, until I get back into the swing of things.  My breast cancer ultimate results showed the tumours were benign.  I don't think I've ever held on to my daughter so tightly in all her life.  I can look forward to Christmas now, celebrating in the usual unashamed and immature nature.  Anyhow - some post-London pics, where the sun shone for ten glorious days and I didn't complain too much at that!

On our first day just chilling.  

  Back Row :
  Me, me twin, me son-in-law, James, and niece Layla.
  
  Front:
  Me daughter, Kerri, and her brother, Ross.

A Harrods visit:
Kerri finding the department that REALLY mattered! What a store - you could spend a whole day there just browsing (no choice in that matter). We mostly took pictures of price tags and had a game of find the most expensive fish!

A magical traipse round London. God, did our feet hurt after the tour!  Still marvelled over the simple statue of Eros.








 

 Here's me in South Hill Park in Bracknell. My son-in-law James and his landscape company turned this place from shit to a hit!  He guided Prince Edward round the whole park and gardens on it's re-opening!  And the manor house is renowned for it's ghost stories!




 

 This picture is soooo endearing!  Gorgeous Freya is my daughter's friend's little girl and she absolutely loves the bones of James!  She's force-feeding him her crisps here.  I pray that one day the IVF treatment will work and he and my own little girl are blessed with a kiddy of their own!





This is the church Kerri and James married in.  The organ pipes in here and celestial paintings are the most beautiful I've ever seen.  I visit it every time I'm in Marlow to relive the event. It was my proudest moment watching her float down that aisle!  The Vicar was the funniest little guy, ever.  He kept stopping and asking James if he was sure he didn't want to know where the quick exit was!













On my last day there James' parents held a cracking barbeque - what a menu!  It was my first taste of Pimms as well.  I adored their apple tree - just ripe for the picking and eating!
Left to right:
Margaret, my twin, Layla again, Vicky, James' sister and moi!

This is the mat that sits proudly at my daughter's door!  Taken from the Scottish hit comedy, Still Game, (a Barra's buy!) these mats are often commissioned for Xmas and New Year gifts. Some companies need convincing that you actually WANT it misspelt!

Okay, guys!  This snap is the piesta resistance!  I just had to have a piddle in a Harrods bog!  My nutty twin sister took this snap before the toilette-clerk caught us!  And what a lavatory it is!  Towels like cherub clouds! There was even this little circular trolly with a selection of designer parfums if you fancied a free scoot (sample) on your way out!  Honest!

We were tempted to re-inact a situation that occurred when we were nine, involving twin distraction and a packet of Polo mints in McCluckey's  food store,  but we opted for more finger-linger time on the aerosol instead! 

ps..........you can't tell it's me - can you? I think they've got security cameras in that place!
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So there endeth the few pictures and precious memories that'll last forever.  I'll make a little slideshow of each album of snaps taken for my sorely neglected sidebar soon!  It's nice to be back.  And even nicer to know that I can share this and future posts with a bit more ease.  I plan to raise funds for those women and families who are affected by breast cancer.  I just spent the last couple of weeks experiencing the time of my life.  It doesn't bear thinking about how the last two weeks could have gone.
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The Kerry Wives And Windsor

On Sunday, I'll be traveling down to London on the overnight coach. Now all the biopsies are over with, I'm off to spend much needed time and cuggles with my gorgeous, kindhearted, baby girl.  My oldest son, PrettyBoy, is accompanying me this time, but he'll return home a few days before I will. My daughter, Kerri, booked us the tickets for the journey (with National Express) and it was a simple case of printing them off via email.  On my son's ticket she referred to him as * 'Dr. R. Kerry'  and on mine 'Rev. H. Kerry'.* I can't wait to see the driver's face when he's presented with them!  Add this teensy kinda thing as a starter for 10 and you got yourself  some trouble-making, wine-nutted, shameless females, all on their own brand of HRT let loose on the streets of London! Gercha!  Thankfully, for PrettyBoy, Kerri's hubby James is off work, too!  I will also be spending time with my twin sis who resides in Buckinghamshire also.

My baba wants to take us to Windsor. Of all the many visits down south, we've planned but never made it there.   All that Beefeater and raven's stuff fascinates me. My biggest wish is to spend some time in Camden again. I love the gritty music and clothes shops, and the wheens of red buses and weird-savvy people that tread the street - oh, and to have my camera on the proper setting to recapture Banksy's signature on the Thames' tunnel, instead of the crap I botched up last year!

Of course, I am not going back without a purchase from the most famous department store there is!  Might need a miracle to afford what I'd really like, but since my newfound vocation in life, I simply pray I'll be able to fit it in:

   †    Our Father, who art in Heaven - Harrods be thy name   †

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 * in case there is a bit confusion title-wise, my daughter's Christian name is the same as my 2nd time round married name!

Cindered Ella

It's amazing what went up that lum*,
that long and narrow flue
Aglow with spitting cloud and sparks -
those secrets I told you

A hearth of warmth and visions,
we catch the flickers' dance
From those scrunched, poetic papers,
leading us into romance.

Burning wood and all that rubbish,
that gave out the worst of smells
Smelt to us of rose and cinnamon
as we downed some sweet Moselle

How those flames induced our feelings,
tears that dripped as profiles glowed
What had happened to the promises
those flickers could decode?

Then you started throwing papers,
little pictures on the embers
Curling inwards from the edges,
cinders left as it remembers

Will you let her sit on my rug
as you comb her shampooed hair?
Gaze into the pit of memories
with deep illgotten flare

I'll never need a fireside
to remind me I'm alone
No need to burn to go through Hell
when you're in a smokeless zone.

*The Scottish vernacular of 'chimney'.

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That Friday Feeling (5)

 
It's a good feeling when.........you've duped your hubby into thinking that you changed that light bulb you've been nagging him to replace for yonks, all 'dangerously' by your 5ft 2in little self, whereas you really got your lad to do it on an unexpected 20 minute visit home during his lunch hour!

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Life Is A Pop Of The Cherry (Tomato)

 Relying on the tips of my padded pink fingers helping anything (especially botanical) to grow is usually a no-no.  It's not for the want of careful planning, construction and attention either, but my short-yet-successful list of things I do manage to grow fairly trouble-free include foetuses, leg hair, sea monkeys and impatience.  So hopefully you understand my utter joy at these pictures:

The Cheaper Half bet me £10 back in May that I'd fail in growing some cherry tomatoes (from seed) before the end of summer.   In all,  I  managed to grow 8 of the little buggers, half of which will meet their
demise tonight between two slices of hot buttered toast.  Sadly, however, TCH wrestled the phone off me as I was trying to get the local press involved.........¡

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Sighting

Every day or so, they say
the waiter's by the sea
Thickest fog, unsubtle smog
his basic rivalry

And there he stands, this proffered man
throwing curses from the edge
Still he fights as docks ignite
those promises they pledged

In true abyss he'll always miss
the stories that they'd sing
Till the boy returns the seas shall burn
it's lost linguistic string

No mighty bridge with climbing ridge
can stop a body's fall
What push or shove, indicative of?
He may never know at all.

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Calling It Quits!?

 My breast cancer investigation is complete. Earlier on today I traveled to Glasgow for an excisional biopsy.  It was the lengthiest and nippiest one of the previous four but I was lucky in such that the needed sample came out beautifully first time. I'm feeling really sore now and have been warned that I'll probably be swollen and bruised for a bit, which doesn't really bother me as I'm a regular Humpty Dumpty anyhow!

 All I have to do now is wait on the results to see if the suspicious mass is cancer and what, if any, treatment will entail. But hey-hoe!  I'm off soon to visit my daughter in London to spend some girlie and sightseeing time. If bad news does wing it's way to me then she's the one I'd be crying out for.  Her strength floors me at times.

The guys have been really supportive and let me flibbertigibbet on and on through the tetchy times. I really don't think they believe me as to how uncomfortably squished you need to be for mammograms ect.  Maybe a screening of something similar for them would get you that  cup of tea with extra milk now!
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Ripping Whomever

Decidedly wary, unusually calm
Who opened the package that's me?
Sought by abusers and everyday hurt
Whose secrets dilute in the sea

Can you fathom the coldness, the annual crawl
Make a vow to a pearl so crisp
Washed up on a shore complex with aspersions 
To cast away doubt in the mist

Still clutching at whispers, an idyllic like shell
Nereus prophecies turned then they fled
Tear the wrapping and bathe me in promises sweet
Then take me and denial to bed

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☻ Ordinary (Kinda) Days (4) ☻

Was a bit of grump today as Scotland hit 81°, and I'm more of an 'innings' than 'outings' gal in the summer, but the sun (and a few beers) seduced my hubby enough for him to take on the task of cutting the back hedge, giving me a bit of peace and Judge Judy time.  Yes, Judy is a guilty pleasure of mine, and I haven't missed an episode in 15 years! The woman's flawless and her patter is short, sweet and nippy in all the right places. So that's that one outed........☺

By late afternoon, I agreed to venture out for a food shop and to pay our council tax and ended uppercutting myself on the chin at the counter of the tax office, as my elbow slid due to the thick layer of sunblock I applied. As my face is 'menopausal-red' most of the year, the assistant's giggles wouldn't have made my blushes any deeper!  

And the bank was a nightmare too!  This kid from Hell circled around the queue time and time again, singing in-audibly what could very well pass as a chant, while mummykins entertained herself by listening to her iPod.   To make matters worse, the bank's air conditioning was down, so to tolerate slow service with this devilkin wannabe before my big-shop-with-red-face, was difficult.  I had to restrain myself from tripping him up on his 55th lap!  The only thing that kept me going was the thought of my feet (they go really hot in the summer regardless of what kind of shoe I wear!) sliding into the freezer a cool water bowl for 10 mins on my return........

Back home sat I now, feet in bowl of perfumed water in front of the TV.   Not having the greatest of memory......what was I saying again.....oh, yeah....I wrongly punched in the numbers on the control and ended up with the God TV channel, which so happened to be airing an "Understanding Male Homosexuality Conference" whose understanding in context seemed to mean 'judging harshly'.  Shouting my protests under a deeply frowned brow, I had given myself a worse headache than the acolyte did and pruned feet in a neat shade of bluish-purple to boot.  It didn't help either, when the powder I'd used to help thoroughly dry my tootsies, turned my kitchen lino into a skating rink. 

I was given a little reward, helping to make up for my day's slips, bips and gips though.  GingerJesus emailed me from Edinburgh with some fabulous snaps.   His band No Need For Idols  have been invited to take part in the annual Edinburgh Fringe Festival 

celebrations for a few days, performing cover songs from 60's - present day material.  As exciting as it is, he says he's spotted and conversed with quite a few celebrities - particularly comedians -  but it's this snap of him with the world's most pierced woman, Elaine Davidson that he's absolutely raving about!!  Bet she's easy to buy for each birthday........! See ya's soon!

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Popping Out

  Not had much time this week to 'pie but I've managed a quick nonsense entry.  Will catch yours tomorrow! 

Gladys started changing
into frills and smelling sweet
When Old Ally at short notice
said he'd take her out to eat!

To the new Grande GreeDee Mansion,
with it's first class restuarant 
Where all gentleman's companions
give a fox fur fancy flaunt

Dining in a cosy corner
on a splendid velvet chair
He sipped his malted whiskey -
she felt rather debonair 

The meal was just delicious 
culinary do-delight
If only apple-strudel
lasted long into the night!

The piano gently tinkled
something pleasant, a la mode
Tobacco clouds did thicken
and the French wine freely flowed

Chatter slackened, food digested,
time to bid a fond goodnight
Until stark realization
made his eyes pop out with fright

He changed his mind and wore a jacket - 
not as chilly as he thought
Left his wallet in the pocket 
of the coat that he forgot?!

He tried his best to reason
even Gladys tried a plea
But the boss of posho-noshings
insisted on an exchange fee

Well, old Ally was left fuming
- lo, they wouldn't take his word!
That he'd call back in tomorrow
- pay the bill that he incurred

He was marched into the kitchen
told to stand before a sink
Forced to wash the finest china - 
and dareth not to cause a chink!

The soapy-debt now over,
he sighed a sigh resound
While tucking in his baggy shirt
his wallet tumbled to the ground!
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◙ The Censor ◙

You saw it too, right?
In the mean sodium light -
that demon or freak in the rays?
To spawn me with birthmark,
gunfire from the sweet lark
Forever entoiled in this haze

You heard it though, boy?
That pitch to the decoy -
luring us into our crime
Pickling our senses,
forced over sharp fences
Jocund and into the sublime

You felt it too, friend?
The hard, bitter night's end -
striping day's light across sky
Where we're not understood,
hiding face into hood
As the other me challenges why

You tasted it too, huh?
The fear of another -
as city growls out it's debate
Antecedent evenings,
for acolyte's feeding
Young veins and young pupils dilate

You caught the scent, Bud?
An oncoming flash flood -
windowshoppers in their street attire
Shines the lies of the rich,
with a bitch of an itch
Smithereen hopes and no chance ceasefire
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The Hey-Ho-Lympics

From all the competitive challenges over the next 17 days, only a few will cater to my Olympi-likings:

~ Gymnastics ~ (female only) 

~ Synchronized Swimming ~ (which is women only anyhow)

~ Equestrian ~ female riders only.

~ High Diving ~ (women's - but don't mind the occasional bloke-dive)

                               
I'm not being deliberately sexist here, I merely find the female of the species naturally attunes to such events far more artistically than that of their testosterone counterparts.   I suppose it's down to grace and a taste, that divides the line for me.

Anyhow, keeping on track * groan*, I'm dying to see our Olympics Opening Ceremony.  Beijing's was astounding in 2008 and if Britain is wanting to equal or top it, then they better HAD bring it about via the rumours hopping from tabloid to tabloid. But dancers, prancers, fireworks and massive groups of entertaining youths with flags is a must.


One other aspect of the British madness right now, is the cost of erecting 17 (last minute) sandstone boulders, sitting on top of 8ft high steel poles. This is in association with where the Olympic Sailing Events will take place (in Dorset) and a marshy field is 'hosting' the sculpture.  This has cost the taxpayer £335,000 which, needless to say, has angered the public given our economic meltdown.  Government uses this halfhearted attempt to try to convince us it's mainly been lottery tickets sales and direct arts councils that has funded this future 'landmark'. 

 A mystery guest will be settling the torches' final journey flame for the next 17 days.  So, I would be mega delighted if that important flame to start the games was lit by my biggest heroine, the little Olympian Goddess of all time:


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The Da Pinci Mode

The gasp around the gallery
sent the artist into orbit
What those bristles couldn't paint
from coloured oils and sorbates.

The lick that kicked the end of lines,
Bolds that battled blues
Spending admiration time
and holding up the queue's.

Wine was served with cinnamon,
to tantalize the tongue
And onwards went the whole shebang,
as aesthetic arms were flung!

This dark and late edition,
was the killer of the show
The price rose like a whore's skirt - 
as far as it could go!

A cheque for half a million??
The closure of the night!
This was the greatest art success
sold under fierce arc light.

The buzz soared through his veins now,
he craved another sale
Made a phone call to his sibling,
badly needing to prevail.

"I'd love another painting, sis!
Can Lucy do the deed?
I'd collect it after twelve.....
another fortune guaranteed!"

"Well, dear brother, we're in luck -
it's back to nursery tomorrow.
I think she'd spare another 'pixcha'
for her Uncle Len to borrow!" 

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That Friday Feeling (4)

It's a good feeling when.......your sister-in-law's 'trusty' old dial bathroom scales read 7 pounds lighter than your own 'obviously faulty' digital ones!



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Widow's Watch

Far from hope and sanity, the bedraggled widow watches
Wondered now where comfort lies,  whose bedpost's next for notches

Didn't they all tell her that the sun shone just for them?
Sparks flying from volcanoes, pretty prisms from her gems

Catch a winner, smile for lenses, pretty in her pink
Not as cruel and heartless as the mourners like to think

 Her smile and touch felt genuine, a presence so proud of
Not an inkling, ever showing her incapable of love

But she kept most of her promises, was faithful and complete
Earned her marriage title, through the simplest of deceit

Yet, the clock was sighing verily, the end was drawing near
Nursing wife in silk and satins, contentment in his twilight years

Perhaps it wouldn't take too long, for the phone to carry care
From widowers reminding her that they'll always be there.

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 I was delighted to see a Jack Vettriano picture prompt.  The artist took a keen interest in my friend Linda's dog, Alexandra Goldendoodle,  (whom she is training for the Canine Partners for Scotland charity)  at a  function in Glasgow.  Jack happily posed with Alexandra for a snap and is now in an album with the shaggy heroine with loads of other celebrities - including my son - who have been asked to pose with the wonderdog to help boost charity funds.
 

 

Alexandra Goldendoodle with Jack and with Adam  - his biggest fan as you can see!   LoL
                          



                                           




                                         




                         
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Hotel Windia........!

It giveths me great pleasure to announce that my older son's (PrettyBoy)'s band Hotel India have been nominated for a Scottish New Music Award in the Alternate/Indie category.

It was a bit of a shock for the guys at first as there was the mystery as to who actually entered them to begin with.   But their recent EP (sent out to various record companies) delighted the ears of a certain someone in the industry and next thing they knew they were finalists!  It is a public voting system that determines the winners so fingers crossed.  Hotel India are simply delighted to be associated with the competition whatever the outcome.

The strength of the position came after the release of their latest video Black Eyes which has received the highest amount of both recorded and live acclaim.  This comes from a band that more than pays its dues to its residents (fans!) and has bucket-loads more creativity to give.   They now also have accepted the offer from  20 Rocks'  owner and music associate to become their manager.   They kick off this Friday with a gig at the venue!   It should be more than enough to cheer us up from this constant jet stream!  You'd be pushed to dampen a resident's spirits anyhow!
 
 I will start needling you all for votes in a future post but for now, I leave you with a picture of Scott, the band's cheeky-chappie bassist, holding, proudly, the finalist certificate!
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