April 25, 2010

Top 6 Celebrity Shag List.

I have been enjoying my blogs muchy-more of lately, now that I have a lot more time on my hands. Just this past 3 weeks I have discovered new bloggists with similar interests as my own and I've gotten to visit  longer term friends a bit more, too!  This post has been influenced by Gwen (of auntiegwensdiary.blogspot.com)so I'm off to give you my results and reasonings in reverse order. The collage consists of younger through to present dayish pictures and a separate favourite one. Please have sick buckets and stretched facial reactions at the ready:

No.6 - Ed Byrne.

The cheeky chappie comedian with the smooth Irish accent has always appealed to me. I think it's true that a man can laugh a woman into bed. I just happened to catch the ending of one of his early shows where he renamed dental hygienists 'tartar bitches'.  He's geeky and bodily weedy but his tongue makes up for that in other ways. I was lucky to catch him at one of the Edinburgh Fringe shows a good few years back now and I think it's about time for  a revisit. An enlightened member of the British Humanist Association, Ed sticks up for natural ethics and in his view comedy is his religion.  There's a chance his bony being would be crushed under my vivacious curves, but he can ripple my waves any time he likes.....!
No.5 - Rutger Hauer

The problem with fancying an older man when you're in your twenties is that by the time you're in your forties he's eligible for his bus pass. But I've adored Dutch actor (now with full American accent) Rutger Hauer since I saw Blade Runner back in 1981. Plays Androids and psychos  tremendously well. Wish I could say the same about the rest of his films as most of them are bit, well a lot, B-sidey.  His best effort was The Legend Of The Holy Drinker, an Italian subtitled film about a homeless drunk who is intent on paying back the church a small loan they gave him but he's met with problems along the way in doing so. Believe it or not, it won an award! The Guinness adverts he starred in in the 80's & 90's are legendary, too!  With hands like shovels, and those blue, blue eyes, I'm not ruling out a bed-bop but I'd be curious to have a shower with Hauer  yet.  One of the sexiest voices ever and he portrays that wonderfully in our recent Lurpak butter voice-over adverts!! He just makes into my top 6 but has given me some good spreads over the years!
No 3 - David Tennant

Well, what can I say? He's talented, handsome, and very, very sexy. It is my younger sister's fault that I'm into him as she bullied me into watching Casanova, a comedy drama where he played an effusively, exuberant Bohemian womanizer. Hard to think his father is a minister in real life! Of course, this Scotsman is mostly known as Dr.Who, with the rather suave English accent. But that smile......! Uh!  David's stage roles do get rave reviews but the role that stunned me was his part in Recovery, a BBC play about a man dealing with life after brain injury has wiped out most of his memory. It has elements of humour as well as pathos and he plays the part to perfection. If you have never seen it, the drama is uploaded onto youtube in bouts of 10 minutes. Give it a go.  My favourite picture is the one singled out. You choose the story David......I won't be listening to a bloody word of it, anyhow!
 No.3 - Brett Anderson
A few years ago he made it to my No.1 spot, but he's slipped a bit now.  It never really was his 'good looks' that I fell for (doesn't quite need a head bag, though) but his song writing talents. The man is a musical genius. London born Brett, with his band, Suede, changed the face of British pop way back in 1993 and I only discovered them via an impromptu gig accompanying my wee sister (Sandy, I'm not worthy....!) and was hooked ever since.  I left that gig thoroughly bruised, dehydrated, sweat-soaked and fag burned but it was one of the biggest thrills of my life.  I now hate attending seated gigs. The thrill of not knowing if you're coming out alive somehow adds to the experience.  Suede split up in 2003 and have now reformed (what with this huge Britpop comeback stuff) and I'm excited about it.  Brett and the boys helped me support a charity gig where I busked all their songs for 24hours. There was an anonymous donation after the deed that no-one has ever admitted to. Mmmm Hmmmm!  Mr.Anderson, you recently married, but never quite broke my heart. I at least got a dressing-room cuddle from you!
No.2 Viggo Mortensen 

Well, here's to my floppy-haired obsessed hormones. Viggo is my Danish/American supremo. For years he put the wind up me in some of his roles. He just has one creep-you-out type face that a woman can't resist. Personally, I think he has become more distinguished as he's aged (whereas some women just become hacket!). Granted he starred in some shit roles, too, but all one needs to do is focus on the man. God, I even sat through them boringly, dull (in colour format - at least Hairy Patter had plenty colour!) far too long LOTR trilogy tripe just to catch a swatchy! He's also a bit of a humanitarian, musician and Embassador. A real sweet guy.  I have to admit, he'd need to shave his ruddy chest before I had a go on his oboe, for sake of the velcro effect against my rather dried-out, hacketty hair. My favourite pic is of him playing Lucifer in The Prophecy where he's just ripped out Angel Gabriel's ticker and feasted on it. What, Viggo? No ketchup?! Didn't I say he was all heart..?
No.1 - Eric Stoltz
Well, ladies (and occasional gent) you'll see I'm not totally ruled by looks. No Johnny Dipps or Brad Pittance's made it into my top 6 and I hear they're absolutely gutted.  And for the first time in a long time, a ginger has taken the top spot.  During the 80's a film called Some Kind Of Wonderful, a teenage tripe he-doesn't-really-love-the-snooty-rich-girl-but-his-best-female-friend-after-all kind of film, was made a bit more interesting to me as the love interest was a rock chick and I was guitar mental back then. As much as I adored him and the film back then, my adoration waved a little until the mid-nineties where he starred as an earth angel, terrorised by Christopher Walken.  But it takes a talented actor to play controversial roles and playing a paedophile in The Butterfly Effect was both disturbing and admiring. One thing I have to say about gingers is they usually have the greenest mottled or ice-clear eyes, usually with accompanying long lashes, and very, very nice tones to their voices. This all re-surfaced when Sky 1 (yes, I probably do watch too much night television) started to show Caprica, a sci-fi series in which he's now starring. And for a man nigh on 50, I think he's a little bit of alright! So Stoltz, I'd make sure my house was full of bolts 'cause you wouldn't be going anywhere until I'd finished with you.......Wouldn't he have made a wonderful ginger Jesus..?
I've had so much fun compiling this that I'll be adding more celebrity shags in the future - but with an added twist. A list of Dead or Nearly Dead shags that were top in their prime but now need either a bed bath or the past need of a funeral director.  I fancy a Geek list, too. I mean a very geeky or ugly bloke, that for some reason other than looks tickled your fancy. And a Shame list - where the guys are barely legal (and in my terms of age, that starts from their 20's!).  Hussy that I am...!

April 20, 2010

And I Would Walk 500 Miles........

I've finally arranged my trip to London. On April 30th I will be heading south and staying there for a week.  I'm looking forward to spending time with my daughter more than anything but I'll also be making the peace/piece oan jam (I'm taking a plain loaf with me which you can hardly get down there) with my twin sister.  We fell out a few years ago and the thing I couldn't tolerate more than anything was her snobbery. She led a celebrity lifestyle with the occasional celebrity (in her eyes, I happen to think Chris (dia)Rea is a boring twat) and a few others but I blame her ex-husband's influence for the change in her. It's a long story that I won't bore anyone with it but thankfully the normal Scottish lassie, from the less-than-normal council house is back again - still in London - but back again. This is the last fall out we're ever gonna have. What I've learned is that we're too old and stubborn and the time is just zooming past. Before we know it, one will be at the others' funeral lest we make a mad suicide pact over the boys who broke our hearts at high school or the recording we made when we were 16 is unleashed and lobbed on the Internet. I don't think, In The Blue Ridged Mountains Of Virginia, in which we're pitch perfect, needs to resurface.  I was Blondie's biggest fan back then ffs!

My darling daughter, whom I don't blog nearly enough about, (she's shy) has a wonderful schedule for us.  A day in Windsor, a West End show at night that we will be spontaneously deciding on when we're there, I think Madam Tussauds is on the cards too. I want a pic with me with my hands shoved down someones' trousers but knowing my luck they'll be glued on. And a trip to Sea World is top of my list. Underwater life has always fascinated me and to stand under a glass tunnel where fish and marine life are floating up above me will be magnificent. The last time we did that was when Kerri was a tot.

But more than anything, I'm dying to see my baby's new show flat. After years of hard graft, Kerri and her hubby James (who's in my latest Nippy Side pic!) have at last settled into a flat they're happy in. My crafty daughter knows that I'm dying to see it as it sounds fabulicious, but she refuses to post any pictures of it. That I have to do with my own eyes and camera. She knows I'm too damn fussy about leaving the boys to themselves. They'll survive. Here is me and she at our last night out in Glasgow to catch a Casino show....and no, she didn't get me pissed that night!

April 12, 2010

Daffy Update

It looks like the food colouring is working on the daffodils but won't change the flower completely before it dies. Quite a nice difference nonetheless, just with subtle edging. If I try it again I'm going to use shorter stalks and a different brand additive. Click for the bigger pic!

April 08, 2010

Blast From The Past.....40 Odd Years

I needed to go pee today as I was half-way round the supermarket.  It was the first time I had used the new toilets there and wasn't ready for the latest hand drier installment.  Normally I avoid looking in the highly illuminated mirror for fear of catching a glimpse at aging old me. But the drier was on the mirror's side and did that for me nonetheless.  The skin on the back of my hand flapped and rippled with vengeance. Elasticity departing. And no anti-aging hand cream is ever gonna bring it back.

I quite like the idea of the below drier. Shame about the boring old theme tune when there are so many toilet-related songs that would suffice. Mind you, it would go down a bomb in the Ladies on Singles Night as the mascara runs and stains their cheeks and glitter tops. The last few notes, however, would be worth the smell of carbolic wafting around me.

Any song you think might do...?

April 04, 2010

So This Is Easter......?

I've had a rather pleasant Easter Sunday. Not much chocolate about to start with but my my best mate sorted that one out via a huge chocolate Easter egg cake by the afternoon! She's so thoughtful and makes every day count.

PrettyBoy was working and GingerNut was in Glasgow recording The Valentine's new demo. The Cheaper half and I went on 'romantic' walk through the nettles and debris of the old train line to pick daffodils that grow wild there. I have split the daffs into six jars and added food colouring to the water in an attempt to turn the flowers multi shades. If it works I shall take pictures to show you!

Anyhow - there is little time left to Easter Sunday now and want to watch a horror movie with Cheapy and crunch  my way through some refridgerated hollow chocolate eggs. Which leads me to say that you don't get Easter Bunnies like you use to in my day.......