In the mean sodium light -
that demon or freak in the rays?
To spawn me with birthmark,
gunfire from the sweet lark
Forever entoiled in this haze
You heard it though, boy?
That pitch to the decoy -
luring us into our crime
Pickling our senses,
forced over sharp fences
Jocund and into the sublime
You felt it too, friend?
The hard, bitter night's end -
striping day's light across sky
Where we're not understood,
hiding face into hood
As the other me challenges why
You tasted it too, huh?
The fear of another -
as city growls out it's debate
Antecedent evenings,
for acolyte's feeding
Young veins and young pupils dilate
You caught the scent, Bud?
An oncoming flash flood -
windowshoppers in their street attire
Shines the lies of the rich,
with a bitch of an itch
Smithereen hopes and no chance ceasefire
********************************
16 comments:
Deep.....and impressive......
Wow... this is powerful. It has a lot of layers and depth of meaning some hidden, some not.
Nice write :)
Nice…this has grit but invites us into it with the way you write it …asking questions…not using them as excuses but acknowledging they helped lead the way into the life…
I like the feel and the sensory approach you took to enhance the mood. Thank you for sharing this powerful poem, Lena. =D
Wow. This is a dark write for you but very thoughtful and forceful. It has a sort of panicked feel to it. Well done.
Thoughtful and impressive !!!
Lots of delicious words here...
Stellar!
Wonderful close especially - very tight and tense and rhythmic. k.
I like your unique approach to the prompt.
Powerful stuff. Well done!
Anna :o]
A departure from your usual style, which really suits you. A thoughtful and thought-provoking poem.
You felt it too, friend?
The hard, bitter night's end -
striping day's light across sky
Where we're not understood,
hiding face into hood
As the other me challenges why
For me, this truly encapsulated the whole feel of the picture. Well done.
A great capturing of the photo Lena!
A strong, absorbing poem.
tre bein
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