August 19, 2012

Sighting

Every day or so, they say
the waiter's by the sea
Thickest fog, unsubtle smog
his basic rivalry

And there he stands, this proffered man
throwing curses from the edge
Still he fights as docks ignite
those promises they pledged

In true abyss he'll always miss
the stories that they'd sing
Till the boy returns the seas shall burn
it's lost linguistic string

No mighty bridge with climbing ridge
can stop a body's fall
What push or shove, indicative of?
He may never know at all.

********************************

25 comments:

Brian Miller said...

throwing curses from the edge
Still he fights as docks ignite
those promises they pledged...ouch...been there...or seen that...

and no bridge will stop a body from falling....nice...emotive....

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

simply awesome! lots of good lines too in this one...

JJRod'z

insanebloom said...

Love the flow! wonderful!!

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh, he is one angry man.
Great imagery all through this!

Tess Kincaid said...

Lovely rhythm...beautiful...

She Writes said...

And there he stands, this proffered man
throwing curses from the edge

I see him as this now.

PattiKen said...

Sounds like this fellow is lost in a red fog of rage. Nice rhythm and flow to this.

zongrik said...

the stories, and the song...yeah, this is the kind of picture you hear songs about across all cultures, in many different languages

under windsor bridge senryu

Kathe W. said...

is he raging for a lost one or?
Very well written.

Mama Zen said...

Nice write! A bit chilling.

Trellissimo said...

docks ignite
those promises they pledged

Of a ship which never came home, perhaps?

rel said...

He does appear angry and he stands out from the fog because of it.
rel

Helen said...

'Proffered' is a great word! Nicely done ...

Little Nell said...

This sounds like another tragedy unfolding. Great rhythm.

Sue said...

A sad story and well told.

=)

Karen S. said...

Oh shucks, you know he loves to live by the sea! But of course he does!!! Very nice poem!

Kutamun said...

This reminds me of lars von triers " breaking the waves " , where the girl screams to the sea for her liver to come back, so perhaps this is the gay version ? , i found it very moving, Helena , thanks.

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

Such a sad story but you did it so beautifully. I found it very endearing.
Mine is here
Have you a ROCKING AND WEEK!!!
hugs
shakira

Hey Monkey Butt said...

LOVE IT! :)

Nicholas V. said...

Wonderful take on this image. I like your rhyming scheme too.

Bee's Blog said...

A sad story beautifully told.

Lolamouse said...

I love how you tell such wonderful stories so lyrically!

Anonymous said...

You still doing your homework? I handed mine in to Archie Jack back in '79 lol

ps......is loony-tunes in town...?!

Helena said...

Thank you for all these wonderful comments, sadly, I've not much time to reply personally this week.......and yes, bawheed, - 'Tunes is in toon......lol.....I'll pop over soon!♪

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