Hued Have Guessed It....?

I have reluctantly enrolled in an art class during the school summer holidays. I needed quite a bit of convincing as I'm a latent doodler and love the sound and feel of scritchy-scratchy pencils and charcoal shadings but I'm bravely going to be reaching for the brush with all it's textures, silky swishes, colliding and clashes. 

They say art in itself is a form of magic, so I'll be wishing those little splash introductions of colour and powder-lust will eventually bring the finished article to life.......

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Staggering!

Staggering!  Yes, staggering.  The amount of crap The Cheaper Half says I store.  I may not be quite as enthusiastic as the hoarders you see on TV but how could anyone bin this...?

This postcard arrived in an envelope with an adult hand written address on it lest it never getting here at all. It's from my son's best friend, Oliver who was six at the time and taking a break in the Highlands with his family.  I simply adore the spelling.  That's the magic bit!




                                                                                                                                                           

These kind of things, through the ages, I have stuffed-full suitcases with. All in a cupboard next to the window in the very unlikely event of a fire. Both lads are 19 now and neither Adam or Oliver remembered the card.  Boy, are some in for a surprise on my demise!  Oh, yes, I'm a major bucket-dodger me! The girl just can't help it.

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Celtic 0 - NNFI 1

This week's  ♫ Tuesday Tune ♫ choice was a no brainer!  In gratitude and respect of helping raise a huge heap of cash (still counting - final sum-to-come!) for a Children For Lourdes charity (more info thisaway.) I give you No Need For Idols with their classic hit Wasted City.



Those who can be arsed to sift down my blogs' sidebars to get the gist of just how stable and mature I am, will have noticed other songs by the same band from time to (all the) time. Please give the song at least a bit of a listen. It's really a pretty decent little rock ballad.

  The NNFI  guys study, work, write and rehearse hard then make magical, musical gestures by way of charity and awareness gigs. They perform each Christmas in Scotland's only woman's prison too. Truth be known they have big hearts and I'm proud of them but being the Mumma of the Drumma kinda sways me, you know..?  Anyhow, here's the guy's from Saturday in the stadium before it all kicked off!

No Need For Idols sporting their new shorter hair cuts!  If you're a Facebooker,  it'd be nice if you could give the guys' Bandpage a 'Like' without the need to follow, of course.  It would pass as a bitsy little round of appreciative by-proxy applause for all their hard work.... ....thanxz.... ..!

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The Feast Of The Beast

Carnivorous?  Herbivore?  Liquid digestion?
A puzzle-some thought left for many to question
In front of their noses a banquet of food
For a furry-feast caper all bolshy and rude

They celebrate, love and hate, even mate, too
Those friends of the forest and not of the zoo
All huddled together and fighting for space
With cream cakes and attitude smeared on their face

Over and over the squeaks and the squalls
Get so agitated from nothing at all
A mountain of bodies all twisted and coiled
Such pathetic behaviour, when heavily roiled 
 
Wilderness calling them, what do they care?
When the Queen of the Woods throws such swanky affairs
It's no real fulfillment coterie provides 
When instinct gate crashes those cravings inside

Calm predate, lie in wait, nature kicks in
Clawing out eyeballs and tearing at skin 
Bloody raw, bones to gnaw, catch and then kill
Prey! No party animal matches that thrill 
  
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† Lourdes Us The Way, Lads †

I have to wish my younger son's band, No Need For Idols, a huge "GOOD LUCK GUYS ".  They'll be performing at Celtic Football Club's stadium supporting their Children For Lourdes appeal. They've been jammin' their iffy little socks off in preparation of 26 songs - mainly covers! Phew!

Celtic Park venue is the biggest in Scotland, so it'll be a decent sized crowd they'll attract. A few other acts will be performing, too, but all in all, it'll still be their biggest audience to date. A main stage will be erected in the grounds. I'm so chuffed. Show takes off at 8pm this Saturday.

                                                                                  

 No Need For Idols

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And coming up......it's their weekend stay at this Highland But 'n' Ben that carries a spooky tale to it but I'll leave that post for next time! Gee, I dunno.....you'd think their fans would have the courtesy of being visible, eh?

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Lesson In Layers

How to forget is always lonesome
  winter sun's will always find
Paths of deep deliberation
  makes the eyes and heart snowblind

Isolation wraps it's body
  round her naked, yearning soul
Leaves a hint of last year's loving
  abandonment and no control

From the view she seeks some comfort
  chapters let her reasons bleed
Not a crisp footprint towards those 
  rhapsodies in aniseed

Moonbeam kissed, the flakes do sparkle
  morning comes with blackbird song
One cup of tea lies on the table
  cold and sweet and far too strong 

**********************************  If you like quick, sharp and immature fun, take a visit to my other blog.......Little Sticky Bits
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Royalty Boiled

Crossing the park that sits next to my house this afternoon, I spied some eye candy letting his Spaniel have a bit of a runaround .  As I reached within 'phwoar' distance of him, the little mop-head ran over to say hello and while doing so I thought I'd attempt to impress by letting loose some drivel of my own.
 
      " What a beauty of a King Edward your dog is,"   I said, as I fussed over it.        
 
       He gave a wry grin and replied,  " A King Edward is a potato, but thanks anyway."
   

 I may not be the first to have had one's Kings mixed up during reference to Spaniel breeds, but for that brief moment before correcting myself I felt a right Charlie!


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On Top Form!

My job today was to help compile CV's. I gathered a small group of peeps to give them a rough idea of the requirements.  While looking for a template that may suit everyone, I came across this example on the computer I chose at random. Alignment and format may not be perfect but I'd have no problem calling this guy in for an interview:

Joe Somebody's Uncle

26 Random Road

Stirling

FUKU M8

Tel: 0845 678 910 1112

Mob: 07111 111 111

Email: joesumbugger@cockmail.cum

Personal Profile

I am a charismatic and right evil individual who has experience in construction, hospitality, apnea, insomnia, babysitting and retail.  I have diabolical customer service skills and enjoy sitting around twiddling my thumbs, unless a hot blonde with sweat-bead boobs needs seeing to.  I am looking to find employment which will allow me to do as little as possible and give me the opportunity to find a warm dry place to fall asleep.

Employment History

Employment History:

Smith Construction, Stirling   ↔    Jan 2008 - Feb 2008

Labourer

Duties included:

• Assisting tradesmen

• Wolf Whistling
• Keeping site tidy
• Staring at brushes 

• Gnawing on bricks

Fawlty Towers, Torquay,  England   ↔  July 2006 - July 2007

Kitchen Porter

Duties included:

       •  Washing dishes

 •  Keeping the kitchen clean and tidy

 •  Preparing food laced with rat poison

 •  Spitting in drunks' drinks

 •  Eating giant pepperoni pizzas for lunch.

 

Woolworths, Fallin, Stirling   ↔   Aug 2004 - Feb 2006                   

Sales Assistant

Duties included:

•  Serving customers at till half asleep

•  Putting stock on shelves and keeping store tidy. 

•    Restraining myself from shouting " shut the f**k up! " at tantrum spoiled kids 

•  Team leader responsible for polishing the pick n mix

Education and Training

Forth Valley College, St. Nunnery Street, Stirling   ↔   Sep 2003 - May 2004      2004    

Exams taken:                    

HND – Horse Whispering

Course was based around the film of the same name starring Robert Redford and Kristen Scott Thomas. Some horses were hard of hearing and back-kicked me but I take comfort in knowing that some day Tesco's will prepare him for a barbeque.

Stirling High School,  Fallin,  ↔   Jan 1999 – Jan 2003 

              

Intermediate   

•  Igloo Construction       2

•  Daisy Cultivation          1

•  Teacher Ogling            1
•  Toilet Flooding             2

 

Standard Grades:

•  Maths                         6
•  English                       3
•  Scab picking            3
•  French                       3
•  Geography                2
•  Cheese Making        1
•  Taxidermy                  1
•  Ancient Greek           3
•  Catapult Practice      2

Hobbies and Interests

In  my spare time I enjoy playing football, socialising with my friends, bullfighting, crocheting jock-straps, seal spotting, McDonalds, paying fines and promoting the vegan lifestyle within the Forth Valley area.  Every Thursday I challenge my friends to a spot of vinegar snorting at the pub quiz night after our chips.  I like to listen to music until my ears bleed. Oh - and I once read a book .

References 

Basil Fawlty
69 Shock Street
Basildon
SL8 OWX                                                             

Kim Cashforgold
Toffee Broker
Thistle Ind Estate
Stingy Road
Stirling
XOX  OXO


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