My breast cancer investigation is complete. Earlier on today I traveled to Glasgow for an excisional biopsy. It was the lengthiest and nippiest one of the previous four but I was lucky in such that the needed sample came out beautifully first time. I'm feeling really sore now and have been warned that I'll probably be swollen and bruised for a bit, which doesn't really bother me as I'm a regular Humpty Dumpty anyhow!
All I have to do now is wait on the results to see if the suspicious mass is cancer and what, if any, treatment will entail. But hey-hoe! I'm off soon to visit my daughter in London to spend some girlie and sightseeing time. If bad news does wing it's way to me then she's the one I'd be crying out for. Her strength floors me at times.
The guys have been really supportive and let me flibbertigibbet on and on through the tetchy times. I really don't think they believe me as to how uncomfortably squished you need to be for mammograms ect. Maybe a screening of something similar for them would get you that cup of tea with extra milk now!
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It's
now ding, ding, round four, of my breast investigation. Last week, I
went for a needle core biopsy, which took a full hour and consisted of a
numb knocker and fairly lengthy needles going in to me from all angles,
until they were happy that most of the suspicious cells were drawn out.
It was a bit manic to me, all the machines and laser precision , X, Y
and Z-ings! Granted, I was sitting upright in a most comfortable
padded leather chair and plumped up pillows, for my x-rays and such
like. They also fitted me with a titanium clip that if I remember
rightly, was placed in the best position for easier access to any future
precancerous or calcification cells.
My
follow up appointment to the above, was yesterday. After a brief
ultrasound scan the consultant broke the news to me that all the needle
insertions didn't draw out every suspect cell, despite what the monitor
showed. I still have an area of concern that the needles either didn't
reach - despite all the advanced equipment - or, highly unlikely but
still possible ( if it's gonna happen then I'm your gal! ), the cells grew back quicker than Usain Bolt covering a 100m final with jets up his arse.
This time I've to have a excisional biospy and must
travel to a Glasgow hospital for the procedure - which is a right
pain. I'm 5 minutes down the road from a brand-spanking-new hospital
that has a life-sized hologram woman greeting you at the main door and robots
(Japan is the only other country in the world to have them) interacting
with regular punters in the corridors and wards - and I have to travel
45 miles away to undergo a bigger biopsy to no doubt cater for the size
of my walloping bosom! Some new 'convenient' hospital for the central
belt that turned out to be! The irony is that I'm having the procedure
done by one of the consultants I've been under locally anyhow!
Confession
time: I'm of a certain mindset or disposition if you will. Life
often sucks and mother nature has been a right bitch to me over the
years. For the possible likelihood that I'd freak if back-tracking them
all, I don't keep a journal of all the 'bad luck' stuff ect, that's
ever gone on. I do tend to not raise hopes much these days. I never
look forward to many things now, but I do love to recall if something's
been a joy, success, or relief! That's me!
Anyhow,
I found the consultation yesterday quite straining. It wasn't Dr.Seth
but another consultant and new nurse in the room. There was awkward
pauses and he kept frowning while referring to my notes. That may have
been because a conclusion, one way or the other, was expected
yesterday. Perhaps it's just that they know it's an inconvenience for
people to travel to an unfamiliar town.
But I can't help feeling
there's something still to be uncovered yet. On out way out, the nurse showed my hubby
and I to a side room and gave me a card with various names and mobile
numbers of local MacMillan Cancer Support nurses - she was one herself
- to call day or night with any query, sensible or silly! I simply
thanked her and carefully put my card in my purse with all my other
little bits of plastic.
As yet, my tests have all drawn inconclusive results -and as I say, nothing confirmed one way or the other. Looking around at all the patients filling up
the chairs of the oncology clinic, for a brief moment I felt like I was
in a bubble. It was seconds later when a nurse called in a little girl
called Lara, who looked around six, that I snapped back , thinking if it all does matter, I'll
be capable of coping.
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The second stage of my breast lump investigation is now over....phew! I had all 3 examinations in one (long) afternoon which is still excellent service. I speak not a word of a lie when I say the mammogram was ruddy well sore, the biopsy stung like the clappers (they were short staffed so I agreed to the procedure without anaesthetic !) but by the soothing voice and touch of the sonographer at my ultrasound, all was forgiven. She was a young lass with beautiful Asian features - and spoke with a soft Scottish accent - and we were talking music in no time! I just hold tight for 6 weeks on results, lest they call me back sooner.
I have to admit - sitting in a room with women of all ages, some with breast cancer, some similar to me, and others for check ups - I was truly humbled. The girl next to me, who I'd been chatting away with had 3 of a family, her youngest was 8, she was barely 40 and fighting a cancerous tumour. All that time we sat conversing, I had no idea she was wearing a wig. It was only when she had to adjust it a bit at the back that she mentioned it. Gobsmacked I was - it was the double of my daughter's hairstyle, colour and all! Incredibly natural. Everyone agreed that treatment and aftercare are so advanced these days, that it made for a more positive outlook. But even I, with my less than 5% chance of this being cancer, still can't shake off the the possibility factor.
Anyhow, I was glad to get home and needed a day or two's rest just to get over the afternoon's hullabooby-loo. And I knew things were back to normal when PrettBoy asked how my hospital apps went and then added for true measure:
" Did you remember to tell folk that I programme the robots there?"
"Of course, son....." I added, "I would have been a right (or left ) tit to have forgotten. Now get the kettle oan!"
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