Cat clawed, dog gnawed the bottom of the chair,
didn't matter one iota - we would always find her there
Cushions knitted, armslips fitted, back adjusting foam,
didn't like it one iota - huffed to leave it well alone
Change position, wrong decision, window watching faith,
didn't like it one iota - if moved an inch from viewing place
Crumbs go tumbling, side seam fumbling, lost the bloody thing....
didn't like it one iota - so just tied it to a string
Careless chaffing, endless laughing, moulded tush and head,
didn't like it one iota - taping leather if it shred.
Cold breezes, cough and wheezes, tended in the chair,
didn't like it one iota - that old cross she had to bear
Children singing, daughter winging in and out the room,
didn't like it one iota - but she was gone a seat too soon
Chair gracing, there's she's waiting, can't you see her still?
Didn't like it one iota - and God we know she never will!!
*********************************
15 comments:
Fun blog! Enjoyed rummaging a few minutes - like your poetry too.
At the risk of offending you, your excellent poem came close to perfection, as far as meter is concerned. It breaks down in just a few places. I took the liberty of patching the few spots. See if you don't agree the rhythm works better this way.
Cat's clawed, dog gnawed, the bottom of the chair,
didn't matter one least bit - we'd always find you there.
Cushions knitted, armslips fitted, back adjusting foam,
didn't like it one least bit - leave it well alone.
Change position, wrong decision, window watching faith,
didn't like it one least bit - if moved from viewing place
Crumbs go tumbling, side seam fumbling, lost the bloody thing....
didn't like it one least bit - so tied it to a string
Careless chaffing, endless laughing, moulded tush and head,
didn't like it one least bit - taped it if it shred.
Cold breezes, coughs and wheezes, tended in the chair,
didn't like it one least bit - that cross she had to bear.
Children singing, daughter winging in and out the room,
didn't like it one least bit - but she was gone too soon.
Chair gracing, there she's waiting, can't you see her still?
Didn't like it one least bit - God knows she never will!!
Berowne - lol......not a bit offended! As my badge on my sidebar has always declared, (I doesn't allus do perfik grammur). The rhythm is fantastic. I know I wasn't spot on but I'm in it for the fun, mainly. She was a 'one iota' women mind you.....but she'd have preferred your version, I'm sure!☺ Thanks for taking the trouble, though, I'm flattered you liked it as much to do so....!x
I wouldn't dare "patch" your poem - - I love it just the way it is!
Jon - you know me better than you think...lol...!
Helena - I'm a novice at poetry so I hope this question is screaming a big "Duh" haha but I just had to ask if it's intentional that every stanza begins with the letter "C"?
Yes, she was somewhat a 'C' type of woman. Lots of words beginning with C could be drawn up to describe her, so it was kinda inevitable.......
I noticed each stanza started with a C too and I was going to ask but I see someone already has!
ReBelle - thank you for the time spent on my blog. I spend yonks on everyone's sidebars, too! Can say so much about the blogger!
Berowne - you're my perfect patcher!
Jon - thank you. My biggest fannn??!!
Opt & Jen - yes!
well done...thanks for sharing
Love the C-words...did her name begin with C? Made me wonder...
Grisly but fun. :)
Thanks so much for the lovely comment! I must be losing it, didn't even see all the 'Cs' ... in your most clever poem.
This is great. I think the repetition of 'iota' works well to give us an insight into your subject.
I am fascinated by your poetry. This is fun. You made me see it in front of my eyes when I was reading it.
I hae to smile at Berowne as I think he is an extremely brave man! And you are gracious.
Post a Comment