June 27, 2012

☼ Ordinary (Kinda) Days (3) ☼

I awoke to a rather grumpy cheaper-half this morning.  Not that that's unusual,  it's one of his finer features, but he had melted chocolate Maltesers stuck to his right buttock.  If I get sleepy particularly quick, an insatiable appetite takes over and I have been known to take to bed with me, a picnic  few light snacks as I'm reading / doing puzzles / having sex.  Crumbs in bed are bad enough but I must admit, catching a morning mirror glimpse of yourself in your Marks and Spencer pastel blue underpants with added looks-a-like-a-shitty-stain,  perhaps isn't quite the best way to greet the new day.

Moving along...... it was my younger son's (GingerJesus) day off work and as he was still in bed, I left a note for him saying we could catch a DVD on my return from town. We normally take turns in choosing the flick but we're pretty  fair and flexible with genres, so to  save time later I suggested he type ' Top 20 Saddest Movies ' into a search engine and take it from there.  He had whittled the list down to 2 choices but was undecided on  Antichrist and Torture Hotel.  I intend to give him a right good lecture on the hazards of skim-reading.

Our rare occasion's full-family meal went fairly hassle free and while washing the dishes, I noticed our cat, Boaby, had killed a sparrow and was toying with it.  Being a bird lover, McScrooge marched down the lawn to retrieve the stiff little biddy from old razor-claws, intending to dig a little hole or make a slighty less dignified bucket send off.  I, on the other hand, simply chucked the sparrow on the shed roof for Josephine - (the seagull he's built a close relationship with ) as she's fed daily and becoming more trusting of us all.   She thanked us for her trouble-free meal by shitting all down the freshly painted (dark brown) fence.  It resembled a 19th century Bohemian vase by the time the droppings settled.
 
And to end the day, PrettyBoy brought me back a Reese Peanut Butter McFlurry from McDonalds that, by the time he made his way back from his girlfriend's house, looked as if it would be more fitting (and dramatic) poured down the back of a light blue pair of boxer shorts.


Neecht! Neecht!


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4 comments:

Steven Cain said...

I too am a late night snacker. I got in to some trail mix the other night and must have fallen asleep with a dried cranberry somewhere outside of the bag or my mouth. It wound up under my right buttock... go figure... and was wallowed into both my sleeping apparel and the sheets. Dried fruit is not above making an awful stain... in this case red and quite permanent.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

Ya had to add that last part about the McFlurry. I'm so hungry! I think it's a wendy's kind of day for me today!! I laughed when you mentioned chuckling at the dead bird and the poop all down the fresh painted fence. Happy Friday :) Have an awesome weekend!

Anonymous said...

ha hah ha.......mumma your mates here are quite cool and funee....no wonder you're not on FB a lot...!

Unknown said...

So... did you watch Antichrist or Torture Hotel?

I've stopped eating in bed precisely because I've woken up with food in unwanted places. Instead, I have a comfy chair next to the bed!