April 21, 2015

Never Trust A Toilet Mirror!



A trusted friend I had in you
solely hanging in the loo
Lighting up above the sink
framed in bright flamingo pink

Helped as I made up my face
a lipstick kiss I'd soon erase
Little Miss Perfect in reverse
winks and pouts we would rehearse

You saw my tears and shared my shame
agreed, I won't do that again!
Unladylike from pees to vomit
zooming out me like a comet!

Heard my secrets and my farts,
got zit-pops down to a fine art
I'd bounce about in naked pride
and sing most ghastly as I dried

Then came the thought to rearrange,
my rooms in some domestic change
I fancied you out in the hall
t'was not a clever move at all

Looking pale and feeling shitty,
no longer sharing in my pity
Every time I went to tinkle
I never noticed that deep wrinkle!

I've never changed my food of late
yet you indicate I've put on weight!
Beauty should come from within
but I'm worried by that double chin!

Does my dress cling on this tight?
I must have looked an awful sight!
My hair's not doing as it's told
all waves and knots and uncontrolled

My senses ask, is this a farse?
Just look at thee size of my arse!
I should be gorgeous, but can see,
you won't co-operate with me!

You're dull and hard and can't reflect,
a two-faced friend with low respect
Back in the bathroom, so it seems
or find yourself in smithereens! 

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10 comments:

^.^ said...

... and that's how da cookie, uhm mirror crumbles ... but no matter cuz we are beautiful, Mama Lena, yes? ... smiles ... Love, cat.

Jon said...

This one is a classic. Your wit and apt observations had me laughing all the way through.

When I was young and hot, mirrors were my friend. Heck, I lived in Southern California, where vanity is a way of life.

Nowadays, I avoid mirrors at all costs. They are not only my enemy - - they BITE!!

Elena Sands said...

Wow, that was great. I'm very impressed that you managed to put "smithereens" in a poem and make it work and rhyme with something. Good work. Awesome and funny poem. :-p

Maria said...

Funny! Gotta keep the mirror where the lighting is your friend.

Geo. said...

Your poem addresses a universal concern with admirable energy. I find as I get older, my mirror is calming down.

Kim @ This Belle Rocks said...

Hahaha, so true. So true, my friend.

Anonymous said...

amazing....you've turned the picture into a lav lol....well it is your favourite type of humor!

Bell of Peace said...

The way you write is such flowing. Keep writing. www.bellofpeace.org

Tess Kincaid said...

Thanks for the smiles...

Forest Tinker said...

You did it again - you put reality first - a big bravo once more