The most trusted friend I had was you
solely hanging in the loo
Lighting up above the sink
framed in bright flamingo pink
Helped as I made up my face
a lipstick kiss I'd soon erase
Little Miss Perfect in reverse
winks and pouts we would rehearse
You saw my tears and shared my shame
agreed, I won't do that again!
Unladylike from pees to vomit
zooming out me like a comet!
Heard my secrets and my farts,
got zit-popping down to an art
I'd bounce about in naked pride
and sing most ghastly as I dried
Then came the thought to rearrange,
a few rooms - some domestic change
I fancied you out in the hall
t'was not a clever move at all
Looking pale and feeling shitty,
no longer sharing in my pity
Every time I went to tinkle
I never noticed that deep wrinkle!
I've never changed my diet of late
yet you indicate I've put on weight!
Beauty should come from within
but I'm worried by that double chin!
Does my dress cling on this tight?
I must have looked an awful sight!
My hair's not doing as it's told
all waves and knots and uncontrolled
My senses ask, is this a farse?
Just look at the size of that arse!
I should be gorgeous but can see,
you won't co-operate with me!
You're dull and hard and can't reflect
A two-faced friend with low respect
Back in the bathroom, so it seems
Or you'll find yourself in smithereens!
15 comments:
I like placing blame where blame is due...good for standing up for yourself!
Wander
Like a comet!? Hilarious.
my mother always used to tell me don't blame, maybe cuz everything was always her fault
mirrored
my mother always used to tell me don't blame, maybe cuz everything was always her fault
mirrored
LOL..... of course mirror here has got all the meanings of a mirror we all assume involuntarily.
Love it.
I'm glad I'm not the only one former trusted friends lie to.
This was so funny, and I find I can sympathize too! I do like your very different takes on the prompt.
Your blog header makes me smile every time I see it ... your poem did too!
Thanks for the lovely Monday giggles...
Snort, giggle, guffaw!
Thanks folks. I reverted back to my vain, teenage years, where a mirror at close proximity (sink level up) was kinder than the full view in daylight! An extra pound or two felt and looked like a stone back then!
Helen - I uploaded that header to welcome in the New Year and I STILL haven't changed it! Be gone soon, though!
Love your poem, well done.
Hi Helena, just catching up on your posts. My goodness, you've been through a lot... and somehow, I missed the name change of one son's band and the introduction of the other son's band!
My bathroom mirror is old enough that its reflection isn't as clear, and I refuse to replace it, because I think a new one would not be as forgiving to me :)
love the post !
Good for you. Mirrors have no real business! :)
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