I Want One That's Not Chocolate!

                              Sorry this one is a bit late - trying to catch up over the Easter holiday.  
                                                      Just a quick effort with little tones of my own Easter childhood!


Every year on  Easter Sunday
shiny shoes and cotton shirts,
All that Sunday Best malarkey
bored to death in that huge church

Hymn books open ready
morbid songs they make you sing
Hold your breath next to old Charlie
or inhale that  musky ming!

In the morning came a visit,
Easter Bunnies clad  in blue?
Just nutters in a onesie,
fooling nobody but you!

Little lamb a-bounding,
with energy galore
Till the day he's on the menu
feeds a family of four

Hens-a-constant laying
eggs-on-the-constant boil
Colours, faces, and cool patterns
for us to smash and spoil

Gee - all those shit straw bonnets
piled as much as you damned please
Then a prize for putting up with
hostile birds and angry bees

It's sad to hear the story
crucifixes, rolling stones
All forgotten once the wine flows
with no sin there to atone

When He's born we're given presents,
given chocolate when He dies
Forgiven each hypocrisy
before His very eyes

Such memories to last me,
arms so full of daffoldills
Stolen from a nearby cemetery
looks nice upon your sill

Same time again, then, everyone
school holidays of Yore
From Fridays through to Mondays
bring about that tin foil war
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This Should Crack You Up

Heaven's above!  I've not long returned from town after witnessing some crazy, cockamamie scenes in the seasonal goods aisle of a supermarket.  People were going nuts to nab what remaining chocolate Easter Eggs flitted about the shelves. You know the situation is pretty dire when Kit Kat starts to out number other varieties 10 - 1 and then become a desperate measure itself.   

Over-stretching, tutting, some mild swear words, one proper swear word, stomping on toes etc.  A young chap even popped a finger through the foil to secure himself a purchase!  Thankfully, my sprogs are all fully grown and it's just the odd family few I buy for.  Now,  I'm not the most prepared person myself but these eggs have been commercially thrown in our faces since Christmas.

Cavity dread aside, my fondest Easter memory was not the cocoa buzz, but boiling a good old hens' egg, and hand-decorating and/or drawing faces on it!  A huge bunch of we bairns would  take our creations to the park and have rolling competitions down the grassy hill.  If your opponents egg was cracked worse, you got the option of peeling and eating it.  You couldn't shit for days but that was eventually counteracted by all the chocolate eggs your family fought over in supermarkets the previous night.

                                     Have a Happy Easter. 

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