Oh no, your key turns in the lock
you're home an hour early!
I promised to clean out the car
and polish it till pearly!
Those bins are overflowing still,
forgot to shell the peas
There's no lentils in the lentil soup
expect no guarantees.
Forgot to take the doggie out -
slept right through the alarm
I guess one piddle up the wall
will do the house no harm
I tried my hand at hoovering -
some bloody noise that makes!
But I had to hide the evidence
of breakfast's crumbly cakes
See! The pile of clothes for ironing
no longer tops the chair,
(just crushed it all into a bag
that's underneath the stair!)
YaY! I watered all the indoor plants
with innocent intent
But overflowed the pots by using
Be careful as you walk around
that shelf piled high with books
For that doggie piddle's not the only
sure relief he took!
And I know I said I'd weed the drive
but dandelions are tough
That 'L' shaped metal weedy thing
near took a nail right off!
I popped out quickly to the shops
where faced with a consign
Was a grocer so hell bent on selling
me a vintage wine (hic)
In my favour (that's not faring well)
I managed to complete
The making of our king-sized bed
with every corner neat
I'm pure and simply guilty of
Now, I think it's time we walked that page
and found ourselves a cleaner
Oh, you know that you'll forgive me,
once my lips form their sweet pout
For I've juggled up your senses
and played annoyance out
Lets crush these satin bed sheets
in this non-marital bliss
And seal our wreakless lifestyle
with a neat and tidy kiss.