June 13, 2013

Through Keywholy Hell

Why'd ya lock me in my room?
You'd think I was some kind of loon!
I didn't mean to spoil your shoe
with that small tube of superglue
Or smash the car your mother bought
that left her skint and quite distraught
And that small mishap in the garden
when the koi-carp pond did harden?
Was nothing compared to the day
I gave your other car away!
Was such a teensy, weensy fault
mistaking sugar for rock salt
Then squashing chillies through the sieve
just doubled as a laxative!
I'd only had 4 pints of cider,
to make me pick legs off that spider
Gollygosh was quite a laugh, 
swapping squash with bubble bath
Foam and snot ran from the nose,
to cleanse the mind of what it knows!
The prat next door who always beams
(just like the cat who got the cream)
Got flashed my boobs, the little creep! 
(That put his gas down to a peep!)
I thought it silly that you wept  
I'd cut your hair short as you slept
Spur of the moment, sudden plan -
weedkiller in the watering can!
Some stop when stepping near the line
but I just give the old V-sign
The list goes on, I can't behave,
must have this naughtiness I crave
So WHY'd you lock me in this room?
I so enjoy being a loon!

 Just a quick entry this week.  Normal Lenaness will resume THIS Sunday!


richard said...

Oh, you's a mean little rascal...
Best they throw away that key!!!

Helen said...

OMG! This is hysterical ... love it!

Geo. said...

Wonderful door hardware! And, judging from the mischief in your poem, good need for it. Delightful.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

You always inject such wittiness into your poetry :) I love it.

Little Nell said...

Very funny and bounces along with a real rhythm. Mind you I wouldn't want to meet the 'prisoner'!