That means I'm cooking breakfast in this rustic little hut
This mini-break week-end away, has come without a waiter
I didn't know the But 'n' Ben was totally self cater
This place is back to basics, yet I struggle with mod cons.
Better do my best to fathom it, before the first one yawns.
No cereal in boxes? WHAT?! The butter's turned quite runny.
Yay! I've found a pair of near full jars, one jam, the other honey
How on earth am I supposed to make the bread go brown?
Or keep the yoke all yokey as the water simmers down.....
That jam whose lid I wrestled was in scarlet cognito
T'was but a jar of beetroot, yet no one would ever know.
Occupiers previous had left some porridge oats
but I envisage a blockage in each of my 3 friends' throats!
I'll stick to mini fry ups, sausage from the pits of Hell
Covered up with Heinz' Baked Beans, at first you cannot tell!
The coffee percolator had that added weird utensil -
Shot hot dark beans around the place - the owner will go mental!
Won't someone save my bacon and take over from me?
Before I wrap that cat in foil and roast it for our tea!
Friends sat around performing a post mortem on their plates.
Guess I've chopped my chance of getting past those fine-dine Pearly Gates.
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