start of *** REALLY GOT ME***
🌟✈ His cluttered head wasn't really getting the peace it needed after his exchange with Brian. He knew how his friend felt about this over-attachment with his daughter and the legal boundaries it crossed. Of course, the advice given to him had been prudent, and he thought he at least owed Brian something since they more or less stopped socializing these days.
He did conjure up the scenario of telling her that it may be in their best interest if they no longer saw each other and what that actuality would bring about. But the pain of such a sudden and cruel act, and watching her crumble through it was unbearable to even think about. Not now. Not ever. They couldn't even manage being weaned from the other; seeing each other less, no keeping their contact to just public places, no calling less, no taxi's home after he'd cooked for her, no keeping to her own room. There was no lesser degree of impact for them, no damage limitation that would succeed.
But he did promise Brian he'd think about the peccancy of his future; committing to such this very second via a long quiet walk, (mobile at home, iPod in his pocket) under glorious winter sun that oozed from an azure cloudless sky. A perfect setting for clear, serious, sensible thinking... who was he trying to kid? All it took was a distant aeroplane catching his eye to make any such thoughts moulder as it merely placed emphasis on their premeditated plan. Weighing up the odds, they may need a straight flight, across skies and outta here themselves some day. Plus he really wasn't being totally loyal to Brian by choosing the very park he and Saskia met up in to process these 'thoughts' - that wasn't doing anything other than confirming their fait-accompli carried —— and disregard.
Within forty-eight hours of last hearing from her, she was back on the phone, back at his table, back in his bed. There was no need to expose the fact that he had thought - theoretically - of a future without her. Of how in the long run he knows she would be better off with a guy her age as he part-seriously, part- jokingly reminds her that she'll outlive him by at least 30 years anyhow. So they embrace the present, live in the moment. How these moments will eventually pan out is a different story; one they need not concern themselves with for now. Or do they?
This past while, since Beverly vacillated some possible suspicion during the time she legged it, Saskia had to reassure Neil that her mum had just been off on a nasty rant, and could be really vile when in a mood. She felt it necessary to mention too, that this had worsened since the death of her grandfather, and could exacerbate when she was on the blob (something she had to demystify the meaning of in none too delicate a term). Even so, Neil was beginning to feel more rattled at the mention of her these days. Saskia could be miles away at times and on inquiry of such moments, her mum was usually the reason but she brushes it off, jokes about home life. Maybe it was instinctive concern, but there was only so much recovering from cancer could be excused for. If anything, one would expect after having battled such a disease, that life would take on a more lucid and placating rationale. He could recall her fiery temper but it was never that bad to have left any enduring impression on him.
Spending a rather lengthy spell out on the balcony, on this cold wintery night, Saskia, in skimpy and sleeveless night apparel, sneaked up on him and slipped arms around his middle from behind, resting the side of her head between his shoulder blades.
'What ya doing freezing your danglers out here, Raptor?'
Feeling her warm, uncovered arms enclose him, he turned and berated her back.
'You'll catch your death, you daft mare!' Her short smock revealed bare legs, too.
'I thought you'd slipped off without saying goodnight.. '
'No... an aeroplane caught my eye and I kind of got drawn in by its tail lights. Took fifteen minutes to disappear from sight... I timed it!' He feigned amazement.
'Well, I'm... ' she hauled him by the arm, 'drawn to get back inside. That show starts in ten and you're not even settled in your PJ's. Timing plane lights going across the sky...' she tutted, 'you blokes really don't ever grow up.'
'Oi!' He gave her a playful push on the shoulder on their way through the glass doors, partaking in all this living for the moment stuff, when he would have been better off booking a plane ticket right there and then.
end of ***REALLY GOT ME***
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