March 10, 2014

No Place Like THIS Home!

Damn! Someone has gone and bought me
at the very lowest price
I thought my shambled, wasted look,
would make them all think twice!

Dear Lord! I'm being stripped again,
this new lot seem deranged!
Why can't they move in quietly,
without the need to change?

I'm happy doing nothing,
with my cracks and holes and damp
Why can't they all just slum it?
But oh no!  they must revamp!

They'll size me, analyse me,
top to tail me in cement
Pop a lid and grab some brushes -
charge with purposeful intent

What ruddy colour will they choose?
I'll end a sorry sight!
Lady pink or powder blue?
A ruddy wall hermaphrodite!

Or will they go the whole hog
and repaper me again?
I'll be shamed with giant flowers
getting blurry in the rain!

Will they cheapen me with basic?
Anaglypta? Wooden chips?
Nope, I'll get a roll that bounces
when you lift your fingertips!!

And for shiny, smooth fulfillment
they'll paint doors in all the rooms!!
Just to inhale hard on purpose
to get high on glossy fumes!

Once I'm dry, they'll likely hang me
with the tackiest of stuff
Or trust to me, a huge TV
till the rawl plug's  had enough!

Carpeting my floorboards
hanging swinging chandeliers
A ceiling so grand giving
Michaelangelo the fear!

And what's with all the mousetraps
(and odd scurry of the rat?)
My cute, freeloading tenants
will not ever fall that!

It may take another century,
abandonment and all
Dereliction calls, once 
renovation takes its toll

Be it pristine, neat and tidy,
cluttered, strewn and messed 
A home is where the heart is
where one's righteous and one's blessed



Geo. said...

I've bought worse! Start on the roof and work down over the next 30 years. It will be beautiful! Love the poem --set to music it would be a fine anthem for our efforts uncrumbling this old farmhouse. Worth it!

Rajlakshmi said...

Hahaha what a fun read ... I loved your humorous take on the prompt... The part about ruddy color cracked me up :) Ending verses are so beautiful.

Jon said...

This is wonderfully hilarious - -
a very fresh take on a dusty old subject.

anne marie in philly said...

looks like the inside of a philly crack house...

(not that I would personally know about such things; the strongest drug I take is a daily multi-vitamin)

Rory Bore said...

I don't know if it says something good...or bad about me that I would love to get my hands on something like that and fix it up!
A raw blank page. awesome!
(but no flower wallpaper - promise)

loved this.

Wayne said...

Nicely done Lena.....thanks for sharing

^.^ said...

Buy it, I say, buy it ... then revamp for the rest of your life ... deal? Love, cat.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Every single time, your take is so hilarious and witty :)

Helen said...

A smile on my face ... all the way through!

Belva Rae Staples said...

I loved this! It's a clever and funny take on the prompt.

Joyce Lansky said...

I'd like to see an after photo.

Tess Kincaid said... the metaphors...I can relate...

Kutamun said...

Sounds like some fun interior soul renovations , blink twice and everythings changed, Hogwarts style !

Rhissanna said...

Heh! I love this! having been guilty of this sin many, many times. And how I wish I could buy anaglypta here in the USA. Cheap? It's scary expensive!

Cait O'Connor said...

Love, love, love it, one of those poems one reads and wish one had written oneself.

~T~ said...

Great perspective! Poor little house.