February 15, 2011
Drip, Drip, Drop / Much Too Tasty
(based on a true pair of eyes)
You wiped them away many times
Those little diamonds
You said they were sweet
Though they tasted of salt
Drops ran and moved you
Diamonds of water
Salty and flowing unashamed
You'd kiss them away
One day you caused them
Not through joy
You threw me a tissue
Where the salt crystals dried
I looked at you
Hands remaining in pockets
Now the feeling was sour
Salt was sweet no more
Hurt is a mighty force
She's always there to create a sparkle
Water and salt with no grains
Yet still stings the eye.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Much Too Tasty!
Too much salt is on those chips
Will give you cracked and dried up lips!
Make you drink a ton of water
In moderation is how you oughta
Shake that cellar in you hand
How can I make you understand...?
It's not too healthy but tastes nice
Oh, won't you take my rude advice!!
You need your kidneys working fine
On dialysis you'll spend your time!
Just cut down, gradual, bit by bit
It's best to calm this salty hit!
Too much salt is on those chips
Will give you dry and scraggy lips
So if it shows upon your face
Why let your insides go to waste...?!
Fabulous prompt! Last piece in memory of my bossy old gran to my oldest brother.......
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16 comments:
2-fer-1, wow! I like both, but especially the first. And both went in such different directions. Way to go!
oh how quickly it turns there in your first one...salt on the cheek...
I really liked both poems! The first was bittersweet (and salty!) The second was curious/funny (and salty!)
Your Gran must've been quite a character! ☼
Interesting - about seeing the eyes.
Also...I love how you take photo and make them your own.
Thank you for the 'mments so far!
Brian - You know I'm always a little cheeky...!
Lena,
Sorrow and joy, two diferent tastes from the same cup.
Well said.
rel
Quite tasty. I'm feeling a bit guilty about those chips now, though...love all your family pics...you are blessed.
Ooooh, I like those! Firts one was sad, second one made me giggle so hard! I'm a bad one for using too much salt. Can I write it out and stick it on my cupboard? 0.0
Pfft, you ARE awesome! How could you come up with two entirely different themes on the same subject if you were not? SEE?!?! MY LOGIC IS FLAWLESS!! :p
<3
That first poem is terrific. Emotion-filled.
how bittersweet those salty tears taste!
Yet again, ladies (and gentleman, Rel) thank you.....oh, and you're not so bad yourselves...!!
very enjoyable.
love the images your word paint.
I enjoyed both of your poems ... may I choose the second one as my favorite?
Thanks Jingle! BTW - I've accepted the P Poets invite to the Parking Lot. I will join in there via my other blog (Bits on the Nippy Side) so there's less chance of me mixing the two up!
Helen - thank you! And you certainly may choose the latter one. Number 2's always give me more satisfaction as well!
A couple of 'crackers'! Lightly salted, of course.
Poetry24…where news is the Muse
I loved those! The first one was so gorgeous and forlorn...I felt sad, like I was in one of those moods where you stand on the street with your hands stuffed in your pockets and kick rocks across the pavement. The second one sounded just like you too! Great job. :)
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