July 23, 2010

The Bedsit.

Little room with no view,  I occupy you,
you're filled with a comfort divine.
Lain curled in your bed, dreams spin in my head
while your duvet and my legs entwine.

Our space is so neat, compact and complete,
not much scope for the notions to fall.
Bed only just fits, lamp sullenly lit,
as my silouette creeps up the wall.

The windows lay bare, as I dwell in your care,
no drapes or shades cover the moon.
Just a cloud or the stars, through the parallel bars,
bless us our joyful attune.

Some would dismay at tonality greys
surrounding this truncated cone.
 No luster or lure or sheets haute couture
grands a place up to feel more like home.

With minimum space and the simplest of grace -
we crown the apartments beneath.
But I love my small home, it's where I belong
Who needs palaces or laurel wreaths?

  This poem was inspired by Willow's picture prompt at Magpie Tales.

24 comments:

Sir Thomas said...

omg I love that bedroom?
is it really yours?

Helen said...

Love your description of this room. Very nicely written!

Lena said...

Sir T - I wish it was a room just for me....! It's my Magpie Tales group prompt - you'd be good at this!!! Did you work on the song any more?

Thanks Helen - I'm in lazy mode today so it's a bit of 'say-what-you-see' and seeing how many feminine rhymes I can get away with.

Robert Lloyd said...

Sometimes saying what you see is just the right touch. I really enjoyed your image filled piece. Although I love the Magpie Tales prompt this poem could stand alone and be the picture. Thank you for sharing.

Sir Thomas said...

I did work on it a bit and then like most other things put it to the side for other matters... *grins*

oh the things we could have done in a room like that

Eric S. said...

Love the cadence and rhyme. With these words, the picture is painted and no need for a photograph. Wonderfully done.

Friko said...

an elegant poem describing and elegant room.
well done.

kathew said...

I love your poem! Perfection!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

I could definitely wake up to that! Loved this one.

RA said...

Such a lovely room! :)

Jim Swindle said...

You described the room very well. It's interesting to see people's different perspectives on it. I liked your "truncated cone."

Sam Liu said...

Beautiful writing, Lena, your descriptions are a joy. This is a marvellous magpie! :)

Lyn said...

So comfy cozy..I want to settle in there..well done!!

C Hummel Kornell a/k/a C Hummel Wilson said...

Beautiful!

christine said...

Just the sort of room I 'd like too.
Nice take on the Magpie Tale.

Christine

Tumblewords: said...

I'd be happy to have a place like that - lovely!

Mory said...

very descriptive indeed. nicely written

Marilyn said...

This is so beautiful, I love your descriptive words.

Ed Pilolla said...

this is a wonderful sentiment of home. great stuff.

Sunakshi said...

Your writing skill is awesome.hard to believe that you're just 15.well done :)

Arian T said...

lovely lines filled with subtle sentiments.. i missed this on the list. thank you for sharing

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/08/55-flash-friday-55-is-written-by.html
an award for you,
Happy Weekend,
Cheers!
:)

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