May 30, 2009

Come Unto Me My Winter Son

From this very room, I'm watching my younger cat, with it's very thick coat, curled up sleeping contentedly on the roof of our shed, obviously lapping up the extra heat from the felt. Now, it's 73 fahrenheit today which is perhaps a tad hot in Scotland for the time of year, ( but I'm not getting into global warming and all that pish!) and wonder how the hell the daft animal can stand the heat. I kept on planting my sunflower seeds today anyhow - just to get the job over with - an have retreated to a cool room.

I'm also not long back from a trip to my local shop. As I walked through the door, looking like a red chubby stump, beads of sweat under my eyes, fringe sticking to my brow, holding litre bottles of flavoured water, I was asked:

"It's great isn't it? Can't wait for my shift to be over and get oot and aboot! You must be enjoying this weather...."

For an assistant who knows me fairly well, who's commented on my fair skin and red-blonde hair, I just couldn't understand what she actually thought caused my very dignified look, so I replied, (without sarcasm):

"Oh, yes. Loving every minute of it. I hope it continues for weeeeeeeeks!" (maybe just a little sarcastic, then...)

So why do most people assume that hot summer sun is enjoyed by everybody? It's not. I even have to take my holidays around the cooler months for the sake of enjoyment. My best friend this time of year is my rotating fan who follows me everywhere. Ah, well. If the appearance of one prick and I'd explode, doesn't speak for itself to some folk, I guess I'll just have to print a T-shirt with 'HURRY UP WINTER' in bold capitals sweeping across my warm front.

May 20, 2009

Coming Clean

On my bus trip into town today, I was gobsmacked at what I witnessed two stops hence. A young mum was travelling with her youngster, a gorgeous little girl, who was contentedly sucking on a bottle of milk. Next thing you know (and usually for no apparent reason) the kiddie lobs the bottle on the floor then cries for it. So mum retrieves it, inspects the teat, and promptly handed it back to the grizzly kid. The old geezer who was sitting in front of me, smelling of what can only be described as a mixture of B.O. and Haze, with a fleece covered in dandruff and dog hairs, sits tutting and staring across to where the young lass was. As he gets up to get off at his stop, he gives the young mum a mild ticking off for giving back the kiddie 'contaminated' rubber. She was only young and squirmed a bit in her seat but didn't tell him to 'fuck off' as some teenagers would. I was gobsmacked! Struck dumb. Had it been a old 'Marks and Sparks' pensioner I'd have been more vocal about it!

I can't quite remember it all, but I know I've fished some weird and scary things from my own kiddies' toddler mouths. I mean you turn your back for a second they're sucking the muck off worms! That is why God blessed us all with an immune system - and soap and water. So there endeth my sermon in God's wonderment for today. I'm just glad the bottle didn't land in the old sod's lap - however clean and pure his own values were!
9:44 PM